And Then There Were Less
by JVM-SP150
Summary: Token Black invites his former high school class - now adults - and their families to his luxurious mansion to atone for past sins - instead, however, a grisly murder mystery unfolds - and the killer could be anyone. Probably. Maybe not. ; Repost from 2011
1. Prologue

_**A/N: **_One of my most well-recieved works, a story with the kids as adults based on my favorite dramatic episode of _Family Guy_. An important note - yes, it is incredibly unrealistic for all of the kids to grow up and marry within their fourth grade class. The alternative is cheaply introducing a bunch of OC's and God knows I'd be better off blowing my brains out than trying to include OC's in a South Park fanfic. It's also ridiculously heteronormative, but back in 2011 I was a homophobic bastard. If I wrote this today, I promise you it would be much more balanced. It's basically unedited except changing Terrance Mephesto's name to Terrence. Try to enjoy the garbage for what it is~

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

_Dearest Friend,_

_It has been quite a while since I have seen any of you. It is nearly impossible to believe the fourth grade was twenty years ago now... I have seen a few of you since then and rarely on the best of terms. As school and life passed by I allowed myself to be blinded and betrayed the trust of many of you. I've stepped on a lot of people to keep my family on top around here. I have no excuse for such outrageous behavior besides simply that I was young and stupid. I did not understand how much control money has on people's lives when they do not have it. I did not understand what it was like to be of a lower class. I thought all that mattered was money and that money lead to happiness. Needless to say, I was incorrect._

_This letter would be too long if I listed all of my offenses, or my actions, but what lead to my reformation was three years ago when I ran into my ex-girlfriend Heidi Elizabeth Turner. We dated for a brief period at the end of High School, but our relationship died young. Although I was not troubled - alas, I was perfectly fine with the outcome, when we met again I noticed how she had changed. No longer was she the arrogant, selfish girl I had known - no she had fallen into hard times and reformed her ways. She was kind, and sweet. To my surprise as I pursued her, she changed me as well and lead me to become better. And that, friends, is why I would like to attone for my sins toward all of you over the years._

_I own a rather luxurious mansion located on a small island off the coast of California, with more than enough rooms to house each of you. I would like to invite each and everyone of you and your families to this mansion for the weekend of March 25-27th, 2011 to attend a banquet dinner in the honor of each of you. It's the least I can do with my wealth to make up to each of you the ways I've nearly ruined and destroyed your lives._

_Your's Truly,_

_Token Richard Black_


	2. Chapter 1ish but we'll call it 2

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

"Really? Token wants to atone, huh? 'bout time after what that bastard pulled at our wedding!" Tamara Michelle Warner-McCormick was an attractive woman of roughly thirty years, with sandy brown hair, currently in a red short-sleeved top and jean shorts. Her brown eyes cynically stared toward her husband of seven years as he sat across from her at the kitchen table, a small letter sitting quietly in the middle. She didn't like it. She didn't like him. She barely knew Token and her one experience with him was nothing short of disaster.

"Relax Tam-Tam, I think it would be a fun little getaway. I mean, maybe Token's really changed. He was a great bud as a kid." replied Kenneth James McCormick, better known by the moniker of Kenny, an adult man who wore an orange hoodie in an almost childish fashion, with messy blonde hair and blue eyes that could strike into the heart of truly any woman. He still had the same demeanor as well - he was an optimist, a big believer in the good that lies inside everyone - sometimes still, his wife thought he put too much emphasis on the good inside people.

"I really don't know, Ken, I mean after what he did on our wedding night..." Tammy turned away slightly, crossing her arms, "He almost got us arrested over nothing!" She refused to put her trust in someone she barely knew.

"We were not arrested, dear, as a detective, I know a few things about this protocol. He filed a report." Kenny clarified as if scolding a young child who didn't know what she was talking about.

Tammy turned away, crossing her arms, "Ken, I'm just not sure about this. It doesn't seem like such a good idea. I mean, an isolated mansion in California?" Kenny placed a hand on her back, and her eyes fixated on her husband again.

"Babe, come on..."

"No Ken. I really don't think it's a good idea. It's too... too... I don't know... I mean... what about Jake and Rachel?" she motioned towards the children. They were not in the kitchen, but were visible across the hallway in the play room. Jake was only eight, playing with a green toy dinosaur. He had inherited his father's fashion sense and wore a blue parka. One could hear muffled roars from his mouth - he had a strong sense of imagination. His older sister, Rachel, was nearing her eleventh birthday, wearing a green T-shirt, with long hair like her mother's, but the blonde color of her father. She was reading in the corner, quietly by herself, but keeping a responsible eye on her brother.

"Maybe we just shouldn't bring the kids, honey. We can find someone to watch them." Kenny advised, worried for the sake of their children as well. It didn't seem safe - he felt there was no danger for himself or his wife, but somehow he felt it was better to leave the children.

"Awh Ken, you sure we should go?" Tammy said, eyes more open to the idea of going now. Kenny figured it was her maternal instincts again. Despite the family's low budget, she had been a great mother as far as Kenny cared, not to mention a fine wife.

"Tell you what, babe." he smiled, "Stan called and wanted to meet up with me and some of the guys at Tweek Bros. Coffee. I'll talk to them and see if anyone else is going. There's safety in numbers, sweetie - if a bunch of us go, I'm sure Token won't pull any shit." Kenny gave his wife a reassuring smile, and as soon as their eyes met, she could not help but smile back, and suddenly the decision was made.

xXx

Gwendolyn 'Wendy' Marie Testaburger-Marsh left South Park City Hall, shrugging as she brought her coat on over her shoulders - the new Administration had been secretive, aides guarding every door. Such intimidation was not intended, but the new Mayor had political enemies and insisted on only the best protection possible. Few were permitted within those guarded walls, and Wendy was one of few. Wendy nodded at both guards as she left the building. She was twenty-nine, with silky black hair well past her shoulders and soft, subtle facial features, her earthly brown eyes now at peace.

She was soon joined by a shorter girl with brown hair, wearing a green shirt with a purple skirt, who looked a bit dusty. "Evening Wendy." she smiled.

"Hello Karen." Wendy greeted with a smile, "How's it being secretary to the Mayor?" The two had become friends over the years, her and the youngest McCormick. She'd helped Karen acquire her job in City Hall - it took quite some leverage, but Karen was now the Mayor's secretary, which was a much more comfortable position than one could guess.

"It's not a bad job at all! Going home, eh?" Karen liked Wendy - she had become somewhat of a big sister to her over time.

"Well I would stop and buy groceries but Stan offered to take care of food tonight, and the kids aren't getting along well lately." Wendy shrugged, "Something about stealing each other's stuff, and Terrance and Phillip... if you ask me the show's had a pretty steep decline in quality."

"Yeah, it's all fart jokes now, no substance." Karen sighed, "I totally feel you, dude." There was a loud ringing suddenly, "Your phone." Karen mumbled under her breath. In record time, Wendy drew her phone,

"Hello?" Wendy answered the phone quickly.

"Hey there, Ms. Marsh! How's helping run the most fucked up place on Earth going?" came Kenny McCormick's cheerful, gruff voice. Wendy smiled - Kenny always injected a little happiness and optimism into the day, no matter how dreary it had been otherwise.

"Just swell, Kenny. How are you and Tammy?" she said dryly, with an air of professionalism to her voice - it seemed more she was speaking to a colleague than a close friend.

"We got an awful interestin' letter from a Mr. Token Black." Kenny's voice and tone remained firmly casual in nature - this was not a business call, why should he treat it like one?

"You too?" Wendy's tone had completely vanished, replaced with confusion and a hint of fear. She wasn't comfortable with this subject - no, she was worried and scared of Token and the possibility he was back.

"Seems Heidi taught him gentleness and he wants to make nice." Kenny explained quickly, recalling it from his memory.

"Heidi Turner? She was the biggest bitch in the entire High School! That's the biggest load of crap I've heard since last Christmas when Mr. Hankey sang for everyone." Wendy wasn't lying - Heidi had been almost like Cartman in her selfishness.

"Exactly, the story doesn't check out at first... but think about it. We haven't seen Token in a good three years. He did a lot of shit, but it's been a while, he really could have changed." Kenny's optimism returned - he, for one, was sure Token had changed. Wendy was not so sure, but memories and sympathy of the African-American boy she'd once been linked with floooded her mind.

"Well, he was a really nice boy back in the fourth grade... you know what, I think me and Stan may be attending after all." Wendy finally said after a moment of thought.

"We'll be there too then. Safety in numbers. I'll speak to you soon, Wendy, but I best get going." Kenny replied.

"Be safe, Detective." replied Wendy as she hung up and returned the phone to her purse, "Sorry Karen. You were saying?"

xXx

The lightening crackled fierce that evening.

The South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch was an enormous hotel-like structure built countless decades before the town itself, perched on a mountain and surrounded by dead trees and a long, metal fence. Within the confines of the building, Dr. Terrence A. Mephesto presided over the laboratory table, tearing apart the small animal before him with a scalpel - it seemed cruel but he knew he was helping it. The genetic defects of the small creature prevented it from running fast - the new legs would definitely improve it's quality of life. Such is the life of a genetic engineer.

Terrence had a pair of ghoulish brown eyebrows and piercing, icy eyes, wearing the same purple suit and orange overalls he often did, now his father's hat adorning his head. The genetic prodigy was quite suddenly interrupted by his lab assistant, "Yes, son?" he asked, having successfully detached the back legs from the animal. Alphonse II was very much his father's son - but he had inherited his mother's blonde hair and blue eyes as well as her pleseant facial features. But he held himself quite high and had an undying loyalty to his father - and to science.

"Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski are here for their pot-bellied elephant."

"Ah, yes, my most prized creation..." Terrence smirked as he answered the door, glad to have the Broflovski boy eating out of his hands. He hated Kyle dearly, but he had learned not to be too quick to remind the Jewish man that, and now he triumphantly could say Kyle was the one coming to him for help. "Hello Kyle."

Kyle Broflovski at twenty-nine was a looker. Auburn curls spilled out like a mop over is head, tamed under a fedora. His earthly brown eyes observed every detail of the Mephesto residence, as he wore a dark green suit with an orange tie. Next to him stood his petite wife, Rebecca. Once home-schooled and socially inept, she had learned psychology and sociology in her older years, and now was considered the most intelligent mind in the town. Something a respected scientist such as Terrence took great offense to. But having the smartest two people at his door in town, asking him for his services, was more than a pleasure - and he would not disappoint. The bushy-haired wife then said eloquently, "Hullo Doctor. Your wife called and informed us the pot-bellied elephant was indeed a success."

"Remind me to thank Elizabeth. Yes, it was. They said pig and elephant DNA just won't splice but I don't take no for an answer." Terrence grinned as he lead them to a cage, the small elephant leaving it. It was true - Terrence never took no for an answer when it came to his engineering. Nothing couldn't be solved, or caused by Science. All one needed was knowledge, a little money, and the right tools. Terrence had access to all of these in abundunce.

"It looks like a fine specimen." said Kyle with a smile at his childhood dream come true, inspecting the creature, "Why does it have two asses?"

"Oh, nevermind that, just a clause from my father's will." Terrence answered quickly.

"We'll take him. How's seven dollars sound?" Kyle offered, hoping to give the engineer his money's worth. He couldn't quite say he trusted Terrence Mephesto, but he felt a tie to the man, somehow. The old rivals stood there was Kyle took out his wallet, but Terrence's eyes narrowed.

"Seven dollars and forty nine cents."

xXx

Kevin J. Stoley was a man past thirty years, black moppy hair spilled on his head, brown eyes focused on the ham and cheese sandwhich in his hands. The Secience Fiction fan of his youth had become a meek, passive journalist, wearing a light blue jacket with red trim over a green T-shirt as he munched on lunch with his co-worker, the famous blue-eyed blonde bombshell Bebe Stevens, wearing a red suit and skirt with a pink undershirt, "So how's the weather look today, Bebe?" he asked.

"Fair, a little cloudy, Stormy weekend coming up ahead." Bebe said almost automatically. She may have been hired for her looks, but she had gotten genuinely good at her job. She, for one, was enjoying a salad - she had to watch her figure.

"I see." Kevin replied. This was little different than his elementary days, eating lunch with an attractive girl. That breathtaking redhead had since become his wife. Bebe was merely a friend who sometimes was eye candy. Still, the situation was similar regardless.

"How's things your side of the world, Stoley?" she asked, a hint of sarcasm in her reply. Bebe and Kevin had maintained a nice friendship since High School. Bebe had pretended to be Kevin's girlfriend once to keep his mom quiet, in fact - the plan failed pretty miserably, with Kevin's mother dissecting Bebe like a frog until she revealed the truth.

"Oh, you know, same old." Kevin mumbled as he downed another bite of bread and ham. He couldn't taste cheese that time. "Red's waiting to strike another deal after the last disaster, and Alan's taking after me in all the wrong ways."

"Get a letter... from, uh, Token?" A pause. Just the saying of the name was enough to cause both to look with caution. Their eyes looked in the opposite direction of themselves before returning to each other. Their shared anxiety softened slightly.

"I admit I have." Kevin said quietly, not enthusiastic at memories of Token's actions toward them. Token had quickly become cold and emotionless toward everyone in his early twenties, and his wealth and influence put him in the perfect place to be a tyrant over his old schoolmates.

"Inviting your family to the mansion?" Bebe said quizzically, "Cali? Whole weekend?" Bebe didn't like the idea of this at all - she wanted to stay home, eat ice cream and watch General Hospital - but alas, this wasn't in the cards for her.

"Yeah, I'm not sure about taking them. You and Clyde going?" Kevin asked. He had already made up his mind on going himself, but he wasn't sure whether he was so ready to bring his family into it.

"I think so... Clyde's very eager to go and catch up with his old friend again. I'm not so sure but you can't really say 'no' to Clyde." she chuckled, but there was a hint of insecurity in her voice - she didn't approve of her husband's judgement.

"I hear the Broflovskis and McCormicks are going." Kevin reported, "Not sure about anyone else."

"Well, I hope to see you there if you go." Bebe flashed her Emmy-winning smile as she took the last bite of her sandwhich and got up.

xXx

Tweek Bros. Coffee could appropriately be called a most wretched hive of scum and villainy. The classy males of South Park, those who avoided Skeeter's Bar, made their appearnaces here. The place was in all means lucky to stand - Harbucks reached a deal to let the Tweek family own the shop as a unit of Harbucks under the family name - since then, a young boy made his way through Harbucks corporate and became CEO and thanks to Tweek Tweak, now every Harbucks in the United States was under the banner of Tweek Bros. Coffee. The blonde had (mostly) overcome his powerful caffiene addiction, and now wore a gray, buttoned perfectly business suit with a black tie, his once messy blonde hair combed neatly. His favorite subordinate was the messy, sandy-haired Kevin McCormick, who managed the 'bar' of the store since Tweek's mother had retired the duty at her fiftieth birthday. A familiar group sat at the head of the bar.

Stan Marsh had become a handsome man with a strong chin, dark blue eyes, and raven hair spilled in a way that would remind one of his father, yet slightly more sophisticated. Over his brown-and-red jacket was a stereotypical lab coat - he'd just gotten back from his work as a veternarian, although many knew it wasn't the only job Stan had held over the years. "So Stan, how was work?" asked Kyle, his "super" best friend of over two and a half decades - or perhaps over his whole life is a more accurate description.

"'sup bro?" nodded Kenny to his old buddies, "Before I forget, will Eric be joining us this fine evening?" Kenny honestly wasn't in the mood to run into their old friend but he felt obliged to check in advance if the whole gang would be reuniting. Three out of five had shown up so far.

"It was pretty good. Had to bring another gay frog to the shelter though. The poor thing, someone just left it outside." Stan said, before chuckling, "Eventually." Stan was always an animal lover, and that trait had only strengthened over the years - becoming a veternarian was a dream of Stan so he could help animals in new ways. Helping out at the shelter wasn't enough for him.

"Hey guys." Tweek approached from another area, sitting near the guys. He owned the entire company, but right now he was content to sit with his friends at a local shop. Although he'd been cast from their group long ago, the kids reconciled their friendship with Tweek years later.

"Hey Tweek. So what's this meeting about, Kenny?" Kyle asked as Kevin handed them their coffee. It was earl gray, hot, a surprisingly popular flavor in the store. "Thanks Kevin." The barkeep nodded toward them before turning to other customers.

"On the house." Tweek said with a smile. His friends were provided free coffee when they were with him - Harbucks was a successful business enterprise, it wasn't much lost fare for in essence, three people. Butters was gone, and he refused to pay for Cartman. Tweek actually paid his own way off his salary.

"Token's letter." No elaboration was needed - all understood the subject and just how serious it was. The smiles faded and they were reluctant to discuss the issue, though all knew they needed to discuss it.

"Me and Wendy will be going." Stan said simply, "With Amanda and Shane. Her decision, not mine." he added - it was hard to tell whether he trusted his wife on this matter or not. Kenny felt a small pang of guilt, knowing he'd been partially responsible for this, but pushed away his feelings on the matter, nodding to them.

"Us too. Not sure if it's really a good idea for Jake and Rachel, but I have nobody to watch them if you guys go." He explained before taking a sip from his coffee. "But I told Tammy we'd try to find somebody, so hopefully we can get that taken care of."

"I'm not sure you guys." Kyle said, "Token's pulled a lot of shit over the years. There's not much of a reason to believe his honesty." he was stern, like a parent to children, "Then again, he's been quiet for three years now, I suppose it makes some sense." the Jewish man seemed to be arguing with himself.

"Ngh. It's a tough call." There was caffiene in Tweek's system - he was back to his old twitchy self fast, "A very tough call. Ack!"

"'sup asswipes?" the kids were joined by two - my bad, one large man their age. He had neatly combed brown hair, wild eyes one could not look into, and wore a military camouflage coat over a red shirt and brown khakis. He had a mustache, and his clothes were stained and disgusting.

"Well if it ain't Eric Theodore Cartman. Where's the wife and kids?" asked Kenny, raising an eyebrow at his friend. They hated Cartman but Kenny couldn't help but pity him - nobody really liked Cartman. Probably because he was a total asshole but still - he had no real friends. It was the only reason they let him hang out with them.

"Stupid author didn't give me any." he grumbled, "What do you assholes want?" Cartman sat between Kenny and Kyle - his usual spot in the group. The kids exchanged glances of worry, and Tweek chose to broke the silence,

"Nngh... did you get a letter from Token?"

"Him? That black asshole is still around?" Cartman laughed, the tubby rolls of fat over his body jiggling with each chortle in a way that made Kyle want to puke his brains out. Kenny, Stan, Kyle and Tweek exchanged looks of disgust at Cartman.

"Shut up fatass!" It was almost reflexive from Kyle to yell this - years of yelling at Cartman had made it become instinctive, with no thought involved in the process.

"Don't call me fat, you stupid Jew!" And years of calling Kyle a stupid Jew had imbued in Cartman an automatic, thoughtless ability to retort.

"Guys come on, this isn't solving anything." Stan went in between his two friends.

"Just like old times." Kenny nodded his head, letting the feeling of intense nostalgia for years long lost wash over him. It was like being nine and growing up again - except everyone was taller and only Kyle still wore his hat. "Sends me back. Reminds me-"

An unexpected visitor entered - he wore a collared light blue shirt buttoned up perfectly, had a wide ear-to-ear-grin, had a single puff of blonde hair, and stubble over his mouth. The thirty-year-old Butters Stotch still had a similar cheery voice, "Hey fellas!"

"Butters?" Kenny said in disbelief, shocked to see, "They let you out of prison?"

"That's me!" he said cheerfully, "Awh, shucks, yeah... the Warden said i-it's only a ten year sentence for, uh, armed robbery..." Butters said nervously, scratching the back of his head, "B-but I got let out on account of, uh, a good behavior. D-did you guys get a le-"

"From Token? Yep." Kyle nodded as Butters took a seat as well, joining them on the end by Kenny. It was hard to believe he'd gone completely back to normal after being last seen a hardened criminal.

"I can't wait to see you fellas there, it'll be real swell!" Butters smiled.

"I think everyone's going, even the Mephesto family." Kyle said with a shrug, "Terrence seemed optimistic about it, and Clyde told me he and Bebe are going and he knew Kevin was going. Tweek said Craig was going. Not to mention everyone's bringing their wives. I'm not sure about Timmy, Jimmy or Bradley... Well, we all seem to be going so... yeah, practically everyone."

"Who wouldn't? Token's mansion was huge, brah." Cartman smiled, arms crossed confidently. He wished he lived in such a luxurious mansion but nope, he was stuck as a poor fucking mechanic. Stupid asshole from TimeCorp as a kid lied to him. He was never a success.

"Oh boy!" Butters smiled, excited to be reconciling with all old friends, hugging the other five men, "I sure can't wait, fellers!"

"I'm still not so sure about this, guys." Stan said nervously, looking to his friends for support. Kenny put a consoling hand on his shoulder,

"Come on, dude, I mean think about it, what's the worst that can happen? Remember, between your wife, me and Bradley, there's enough law enforcement there to overpower Token or anything he thinks he can come up with."

"I guess you're right..." Stan said, "Well, I better get home. I promised Shane I'd take him to GameStop to pick up the new Homefront game. See you guys this weekend." Stan shrugged, finishing his coffee and getting up.


	3. Chapter 3

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

Friday, March 25th, 2011,

The Black Manor stood royally, perched atop a large hill overseeing majestic cliffs, white-waters crashing up against them. The Manor was a solid, dark purple with countless windows, doors wide. The middle part of the house was enormous enough but two adjoining parts, big enough to be houses themselves, extended it, with two garage-sized extensions on both ends. Anyone who claimed not to be impressed, no matter how wealthy, was lying. Outside stood a man and woman of twenty-nine years.

The man looked considerably older, with square shoulders, dressed in a business suit with a red tie, his brown eyes looking toward the road. His black hair was stiff and did not sway in the wind, and his fingers were intertwined behind his back. He was the most legendary millionaire in the history of the town - he had crashed weddings, bought homes, and was responsible for many a regrettable action. He was Token Black.

Next to him stood Ms. Heidi Turner, a fairly attractive young woman with stunning brown hair to her shoulders, wavy bangs, starry green eyes and a confident smirk. She had worn a red shirt over a green tank top, and pants - no girl in this town would be caught dead in a skirt. "There they are, dear." her eyes met Token's momentarily, then both eyes fled back. Several cars were crossing the bridge and pulling up, the men and women of the town of South Park pouring out, excited children scattering the lawn. A black-haired Asiatic woman with kind gray eyes and harsh features exited her Sedan, wearing a light blue blouse with a pink skirt.

"What a very nice mansion - isn't that, right Henry?" Her son stood down, with brown-hair much like his father's, and grandmother's. He smiled up at her with a naive face - he was a shy, sensitive boy around the tender age of seven.

"Very nice, mom!" he replied in his nasaly voice. His mother closed the Sedan doors as Henry's father got out of the car.

"Shablagoo!" exclaimed Bradley Biggle, better known under the name of Mint-Berry Crunch. Bradley had grown up - he no longer donned the familiar costume, and he had grown handsome features like most traditional heroes. Many a woman was displeased to see the hero marry. "Wow Essie, this place looks great, Token really cleaned the place up."

"Heheh, this place looks gay." said the straggly-haired Fosse, getting out of his car with his brother Bill Mephesto, who still had a full head of dark brown hair. Fosse wore a pink collared shirt with gray overalls and several pockets, while Bill had a sweater and military jeans. The two confidently smirked at the place ahead of them.

Kyle Broflovski rolled his eyes at the two boys as he and his wife stepped out of their Prius, "This is the place!" he said proudly, focusing his attention on things far more worthy of it. His wife clapsed his hand, though her eyes remained firm on the ground. She took a long look around the area, photographically memorizing every inch of the mansion's grounds as Kyle locked the car down.

"Indeed." she said quickly, hoping her husband was not noticing her nervousness. She was paranoid, it was true, but she had to withhold some information from her husband for the time, as painful as it was to do so.

"Kyle?" Stan's Challenger had driven up right next to the Broflovski car. He and his wife had already stepped out, two children at their feet - Shane, a six-year-old brunette boy dressed in a pink shirt under a Denver Broncos jacket and jeans, and eight-year-old Amanda, in a black T-shirt with a slightly annoyed look. Shane was a bright child with a love of history and video games, and Amanda was an intelligent writer who constantly kept herself busy, "Wow nice place indeed, almost as big as his actual mansion!"

"I know!" Wendy smiled at her husband. So far with all of the people arriving, it looked like she had been correct - this gathering would be a success and a time to catch up with old friends and enemies and talk of their success. Wendy's triumphant smirk was interrupted as the Marshes and Broflovskis were approached by another family.

"Hey fellas!" greeted Butters, arm around the waist of his longtime secret girlfriend Millie, a newscaster for Channel Seven - her strawberry blonde hair had grown long and she was heavily made up, wearing a suit. Despite the professional look, she seemed here on casual terms. At her feet was a glaring toddler with dark hair, "It's real swell to see ya."

"Patrick, meet Uncle Stan and Uncle Kyle." Millie said to the little boy. Patrick said nothing - it was hard to tell whether the toddler was incapable of talking or just didn't want to. After a moment, Millie let it go. "It's been far too long, Wendy." she smiled, embracing her old friend.

"I know! How's Channel Seven been?" Wendy asked - there had been a long time when she had contemplated going into journalism - she was still curious on the occupation, even if she had chosen to pursue something else. Millie laughed, putting up a hand,

"Oh, it's nothing. I just read off the paper, you know that. How are things with Stan?" Millie asked, curious how South Park's golden couple was getting along. She had been a skeptic of the two back in the school days.

Wendy couldn't help but smile, "Oh, everything's great, he's signed up to start coaching the school football team in addition to his work at the vet already. I'm proud of him." A few feet away, Stan, Kyle and Butters conversed.

"Dude, I can't believe last night's Terrence and Phillip." Stan said simply, smiling in triumph, clearly discussing a matter of great importance to him, "I never expected them to reveal how Ugly Bob got so ugly..."

"Eh, if you ask me the show's just begging to be cancelled. They'll never match the cutting edge satire they were capable of six years ago. It's a shell of it's former self." Kyle crossed his arms when the Valmer family approached from their car. Jimmy had been able to gain limited use of his legs and now used a walker instead of crutches - he had grown more handsome over the years, almost constantly wearing a business suit for comedy. His wife Nancy stood at his side - she had tamed herself, wearing all-black, batting her blue eyes with a subtle smile. With them was an adult male who looked suspiciously like Lee Harvey Oswald, complete with a generic, uncaring pokerface and a chullo. "Hey Jimmy!"

"Hi K-K-K-Kyle." Jimmy smiled, "How have you guys been?" Jimmy was happy to be with his old friends again it seemed. His eyes darted and refocused. Jimmy had barely changed.

"Good, good." Stan smiled, "Who's your friend?" he asked Jimmy, referring to the Lee Harvey Oswald-looking man in the chullo who's middle finger was currently extended in Stan's direction like it wasn't even a concious thought on this part.

"You don't recognize Craig?" Nancy let out a laugh. Craig flipped Nancy off. Jimmy glared a bit but tried to ignore it looking back in Stan's direction as Nancy rolled her eyes, "He's a male model now. He's also an office worker. He has real boring nights and he spends the day prancing around."

"Mom, dad? Can I go look for some of my friends?" asked Amanda Marsh, not willing to be stuck with her family right now, much less her other aunts and uncles. She just wanted to find somewhere to curl up with her notebook and write some Terrence and Phillip fanfiction.

"Sure Mandy, go see your little friends." Stan smiled at his daughter as he returned to the conversation with the Stotches, Valmers and Broflovskis. Amanda nodded and went through the brush near the edge of the area as she noticed the Donovan, McCormick and Stoley cars pull up to the house. As soon as the McCormick car doors opened, Uncle Kenny noticed her immediately, "Howdy there little lady! Lookin' for Jake n' Rache are we? They're playing over with Alan." Kenny nodded in their direction, "How are you?" Kenny was probably Amanda's favorite uncle - to-the-point, not one to sugarcoat the truth. Aunt Tammy was engaged with Clyde and Bebe Donovan in a conversation on shoes. Clyde was a stocky man in a blue coat with brown hair that was combed but still untamed. Bebe's frizzy, curly blonde hair rested on her shoulders - she was dressed casually in a red V-neck and black pants.

"I'm fine. Thanks Uncle Kenny!" Amanda breezed past the adults, approaching Alan, Rachel and Jake. Rachel smiled and waved in greeting, as did her younger brother. Alan had inherited his mother's fiery red hair, wearing a light blue jacket familiar as his father's. Rachel, Alan, and Amanda were pretty much one group of best friends, with Shane and Jake also best friends.

"Amanda, how's it going?" asked Rachel asked her best friend with a smile. Amanda was glad to see Rachel about - she wouldn't be stuck with her stupid family all weekend, at least she had a friend to keep her company, and sane for that matter.

"Can you believe we get to stay in a huge mansion for a whole weekend?" Alan said, enthusiastic at the prospects of living in a mansion. Although his family was said to be well-off, they still lived in a fairly 'normal' house. Off to the side sat the Stoley parents themselves - Kevin, and his wife Rebecca, who continued to prefer her mysterious childhood moniker of Red. She was a breathtaking woman with silky red hair and retaining a fair figure. It was of no wonder her acting aspirations were so so successful. "What do you think all of this, Becks?" asked Kevin quietly.

"Not sure, yet, love, a bit suspicious." she said quietly - she definitely had her suspicions when it came to this whole thing, though she tried to keep them to herself. She didn't wish to worry anyone ovber nothing.

"Yeah, me too... let's not let it ruin our weekend." he looked into her eyes as Red looked toward the ground, "Hey, hey... come on, babe." he put his fingers on her chin, raising her face to stare into his, "I know what Token did to us was cheap but... don't let it ruin the weekend, love." he smiled at her and suddenly all of their troubles were gone.

"Timmeh!" Red and Kevin turned - that voice was unmistakably the international rock superstar and lead singer of the band Lords of the Underworld, Timmy, along with his wife, Annie, wearing a brown jacket, eyes focused on her husband, her blonde hair still short and curly. Besides the mullet and age, Timmy was essentially the same, "Dah liv' a law, livin' a law, Timmay!"

"This is the place..." Annie said, "Hey, there's Jimmy, let's go say hi." Timmy pressed the automatic joystick forward as his wheehchair moved toward the Valmers, Broflovskis, Stotches and Marshes. Red and Kevin rolled their eyes and turned back to what they were up to, watching the children at play.

"Here we are." Terrence Mephesto stretched his arms out as his family exited the jeep, two sons at his feet. Alphonse work a black jacket, while Gabe, a small boy with brown hair and eyes wearing a purple jacket sat. Alongside them was Terrence's wife, Ms. Elizabeth "Lizzy" Mephesto, a very attractive woman with sharp features and quick blue eyes, long blonde hair resting down her back and on her shoulders. She had chosen a pink coat that hid herself - despite her hated profession as a model, she would always be a tomboy.

"Terrence, Lizzy, good to see you." smiled Red - the Stoley and Mephesto families were rather tightly-knit together, "How are things?"

"Good, good." Lizzy smiled, "How have you been Red? It's been weeks. Ugh, I had to go to Paris for some stupid tour thing. I hate modeling." Lizzy sighed before looking down at her children, "Alphonse, Gabe, why don't you go play with the other kids while we talk to Aunt Red and Uncle Kevin." she smiled sweetly before straightening herself. The kids left, Alphonse reluctantly.

"Hey Terrence, heheh, ain't this play gay?" Fosse said, he and his brother approaching their cousin and leader. Kevin rolled his eyes - Terrence was the highest of the trio, he was the brains, and Bill and Fosse were two minions who followed his every move.

"Shut up." Terrence said simply, and Fosse obeyed, Bill following suit. As the Stoleys and Mephestos conversed, Tweek Tweak, having just arrived, sat on the hood of his car, twitching loudly as he sipped some coffee. Tweek had a hard time controlling himself as he drank, eyes darting about. The intelligent corporate CEO was, for now, back to his childish nervous wreck of a self.

"Augh, Jesus, please!" Tweek twitched, barely holding on to his full mug as he took a quick sip hoping to calm himself. Needless to say, coffee is a stimulant and it did not help his condition in the slightest.

"You need to lay off the coffee." Sally Turner, better known by the moniker of Powder said. Her flowing red hair was held back by the same single hairclip. For years and to this day she wore nothing but black to mourn her lost love, but despite her expressions of gothic darkness, her voice was cheery and happy, "Greetings."

"Powder!" Tweek twitched, "Long time, no see!" Tweek smiled, glad to see another old friend show. His others were busy and he had felt a bit lonely sitting on his car. Powder shook her hair a bit, a slight smile forming on her lips. He twitched again, and Powder supposed some things never changed.

"How's the shop?" Powder asked curiously - she was somewhat of a regular at Tweek Bros. Coffee, coming in usually once a week for a cup of coffee, usually keeping to herself but occasionally speaking with Tweek himself if he was there.

"Oh, it's-" A massive pickup truck almost hit Tweek as it landed, having hit a rock just moments ago. The truck landed on it's tires - barely - and the doors flew open, ejecting both occupants out and on to the grass.

"Yes!" Jason McHugh cheered. He still had the same thick dark brown hair and receded hairline and sideburns, a purple jacket open to a green Monster Tuck shirt, "That was awesome!" The other occupant was on a fetal position with messy gray hair, a tight brown jacket restricting him. He shook slightly,

"Augh!" Dogpoo cried in fear. "Jesus!"

As everyone spoke, a booming voice interrupted all, "Welcome to my house, everyone. Come inside, my maid will take care of everything shortly. I hope you all brought your formal wear with..." although Token Black was trying to turn over a new leaf, there was an underlying... displeasure in his voice with his guests. The guests nonetheless entered the mansion, eyes wide at the vastness of the main hallway and the fountain. A girl their age in a stereotypical maid's outfit appeared, with light brunette hair, green eyes and pale skin,

"Evening, welcome to the Manor Black, my name is Lola, I will be your hostess tonight. Here, let me take your coats and your cell phones. You can't get reception, but we can charge them for you." she noticed the amount of people's eyes widening, "Sir, this is a LOT more than a few friends." she raised an eyebrow toward him.

"Sorry Lo - I have many sins to attone for." Token replied somewhat gravelly. He felt slightly guilty overworking Lola like this, but it had to be done. Lola began removing coats and collecting phones worldlessly. This process repeated as Lola put each phone into the coat - within sight - and placed the coats in the closet. The task was made less awkward and daunting as Token resumed speaking,

"Dinner will begin at apprxomimiately six-thirty each evening. You have one hour to unpack and get acquainted with your rooms... and if need be, each other." Token smiled - not devilishly, but confidently and kindly, "Your rooms are arranged alphabetically, right up on the second floor. I will go check on the meals. Thank you." Token bowed out and left the hall, Heidi following without a word.

"Heheh, he's gay!" Fosse Mephesto laughed loudly to his brother, obnoxious and with sureness. Bill went along with his brother's joke, because he looked to his brother for guidance even when it was pretty obviously a bad idea.

"Heheh, totally gay!" Bill chuckled, completely blindly agreeing with whatever his brother felt was homosexual.

"Shut up you guys." Tammy McCormick rolled her eyes, then glared with annoyance at the two boys' behavior - she hated interolance. It was one of many things she couldn't stand. And she was the kind of person who didn't just let that kind of crap go on righti n front of her. "Have some respect. Gay people are just like you and me."

"...you're gay, too." Fosse's most brilliant comeback to date.

"I beg to differ-" Kenny began, putting an arm around his beloved wife. Tammy crossed her arms in anger. Kenny hated seeing his wife angry like this, he had to defend her, he just had to. But his job shutting them up was quickly usurped.

"Bill, Fosse, cut it out." Terrence ordered and the two boys obeyed quickly. Only the Mephesto family seemed to have control of Fosse, and Bill only listened to his brother. Fosse silent and Bill silent, the jobs were done. The group had already began dissolving for their rooms now. Clyde and Bebe made a beeline down the hall to find their's, Clyde struggling with an impossibly large suitcase. Bebe fumbled the key, blowing strands of curly blonde hair out from her face as she got it in.

"Having trouble?" Kyle Broflovski poked his head from his room, an eyebrow raised. The kindly Jewish boy had genuine concern.

"Oh, thank you Kyle." Bebe leaned forward with her dazzling smile and glassy blue eyes. As always, her former crush was unphased, but her husband was angry - but Bebe was oblivious to her own flirtation. Leaning forward and buttering people up was part of the job for her - it was an instinct. Kyle swiftly took the key and unlocked the room, then left wordlessly, besides a mumbled

"Welcome."

The rooms were like stylized hotel suites - there were bedrooms for the adults, and a separate for kids, two beds each. There were two bathrooms, and a large entertainment room with a flat-screen television and video game systems. However, within seconds Clyde was at the fridge, "Token may be an asshole, but he has good taste." he said with glee, his wife facepalming, "Can't believe he thinks he can just apologize. He tried to get me fired for God's sake, I could kill him."

"Don't say things like that, Clyde." Bebe replied, "People might think you're serious."

"Yeah, whatev- S'more-flavored Shnapps, all right!"


	4. Chapter 4

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

The dining hall had enough seats for all, even Lola. The men and women had changed into suits and dresses for the glamarous evening. The men had cared little - Stan's tie was uneven, Kenny's hair uncombed, Clyde's pants stained with God knows what. The girls had tried hard - Lizzy hid herself behind a tux, while Bebe's cleavage crossed the lines of parental supervision and Wendy wore a suit her mother had made for her. But as the residents sat around the table, it suddenly no longer mattered who worn what - everyone seemed almost unremarkable by the sheer volume of people present.

"So Dogpoo, what have you been up to since High School?" Bradley asked, allowing his chin to rest atop his knuckles. Bradley was curious where he had ended up - Dogpoo had always been a quiet kid, kind of a drifter, rarely one to speak or do much of anything.

"I'm homeless now." he responded simply. There was a scraping sound as a few chairs seemed to move a bit farther away from him. Dogpoo yawned loudly, supporting his head with his arms.

"That's terrible." Esther said, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder, "Me and Brad will find you a nice good place, you'll see." she promised with a smile. She pitied him and couldn't help but wish to help out.

"No thanks, all I really want is some change..." Dogpoo smiled. Esther and Bradley exchanged worried glances as he said this.

"Nonsense!" Bradley said, "Mint-Berry Crunch will always help someone in need!" Bradley raised an arm, almost assuming his legendary superhero identity in hopes of helping out - but there was little Mint-Berry Crunch could do to help.

"Just some change please... change?" begged Dogpoo. Henry Biggle, out of pity, took out a quarter, hoping to help out this mysterious beggar who was suddenly sitting near his family. His mother quickly slipped it out of his hand without a word.

"Timmah tiammy livin' a lie timmah timmeh jimmy gobbles tim-" Timmy was explaining to Jimmy a rather brilliant, detailed story, showing off his mastery of the English language.

"Wow, what a terrific s-s-s-sto-s-s-sto-s-s- tale, Tim-Tim." Jimmy smiled, looking at his best friend of twenty years now. Jimmy was glad to be reconciling with Timmy - he'd been off rocking on tour in Europe and Jimmy had been hosting his show in L. A.

"You never told me you and Jimmy won medals at the Special Olympics." Annie mumbled, arms crossed. She wasn't very happy with her husband - being the wife of a rock star was far from an easy task, and Annie wasn't exactly prepared for it. That, and having a husband who's penis doesn't work isn't super easy either.

"Timmah A-annie!" Timmy scowled at his wife. Although he was rather ignorant and selfish at times, Timmy was annoyed with Annie's self-righteous attitude when it came to their marriage.

"I am not dressed like a Greek prostitute!" Annie glared back. Hey, she just wanted to look pretty - and you couldn't blame her, being stuck in a sexless marriage.

"Will you two shut up! You're lucky you're both alive!" Powder sneered in anger, both Timmy and Annie suddenly becoming very quiet. Powder was usually a more passive girl - the type who would rather walk around angstfully instead of cry. And she had screeched about.

"Are you okay?" Craig asked simply. This was Craig - his voice never gave away his emotions. One had to wonder whether it was concern or curiosity governing his thoughts.

"Perfectly fine." Powder said, and one could detect in her voice - no screech. All was well again with her. What had been annoying her was no more.

"So am I the only one who noticed Token's missing?" Tweek asked, "Christ! It's been like a five minutes! Dinner should be starting!" Tweek had become a corporate CEO, but again here he was, twitchy and paranoid, just like old times. One hated to admit how amusing this was.

"Tweek, dude, relax, he's probably coming out with the food." Stan said dismissively. It was no big deal - it made perfect sense to him. Token was coming out with his food.

"Don't think he'd mind if I took his seat then, heheh." Fosse got up and comfortably rested in the seat at the head of the table. He adjusted himself in the chair and smiling - he was feeling damn comfy in that chair all right.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jason warned with concern, his eyes slightly narrow. Jason didn't want Token pissed - everyone knew what he was capable of. Butters nodded,

"Yeah, Token might get awful sore."

Fosse glared at both of the others, "You're all gay-"

BANG BANG.

It happened in a second, but there was no mistaking the sound. A small blood stain appeared on the chest of Fosse K. Mephesto as his black eyebrows raised a bit, his brown eyes widened, and he suddenly slumped forward on the table. There were screams and gasps as Kenny quickly got up and began feeling for a pulse. And then, quite suddenly, Eric Cartman broke into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my God, they killed Fosse you guys!" Cartman said as he laughed, pointing at the corpse. This was the funniest fucking shit he'd seen in his life. Well, besides the Thompson family but that's a different story.

"You bastard!" Bill slammed his fists on the table as he got up, glaring at Cartman, "That was my brother you asswipe faggot!"

"Shut up Bill, I don't wear a damn Harley." Cartman looked as if he'd just been dealt a really low blow from the book of insults. Bill opened his mouth to retort-

"You guys, this is serious, Fosse is dead." Kyle said as Kenny nodded to confirm the status. As a detective, Kenny was being as responsible as he could and examining the corpse. His wife had stayed back to shield their children's eyes.

"So... who g-g-got him?" Jimmy asked, a look of horror on his face as he clung to his wife. She looked rather calm and shrugged as she held her husband back, but she didn't need the support in truth.

"Who got him? Obviously it was Cartman, he's the one laughing his ass off." Craig said apathetically, not caring much. Fosse was dead, big whoop. Plenty of people in town showed up and were never seen again. It was no spectacular feat.

"Ffft, no way, unlike certain other people, I know how to kill in-style! Obviously it was Kyle because he's a Jew." Cartman pointed straight at Kyle - his suspicions were not well-recieved. Being Jewish, to most people, is not considered a sign of evil, nor a fair motivation for murder.

"Shut up Cartman, you've gone too far this time!" Kyle said angrily - Cartman had pulled a lot of shit over the years, but direct murder was not really his modus operandi. Giving the order was not irregular though, he had to admit...

"Yeah, at least Scott Tenorman's parents weren't recurring characters." Stan glared, rising as he added to his super best friend's statement. There was truth - Fosse and Bill, despite their disappearances, did play a few small roles in their lives. Scott Tenorman's parents barely existed as more than, sadly, the chili they became.

Kenny, opposite everyone else in the room, had swiftly moved from Fosse's body to the bookcase, "Hold on dudes." he said, pulling two books apart, "Right here is the murder weapon - a simple pistol, but timed - the trigger was pulled automatically. Fosse wasn't our target after all." He may not quite be Sherlock Holmes, but Kenny McCormick was actually a fairly good detective.

"What do you mean, Ken?" asked Tammy, holding her children close. Rachel and Jake looked unphased, as if death was something they had seen before and did not find interesting or surprising anymore.

"Yeah, be careful, you're making Bradley wet his pants again." Clyde warned with fear - true to his claim, Bradley stood there with his legs buckled, a stain appearing over his jeans as pee trickled down his legs. His eyes were unfocused, his hands clasped together. His wife glared at the pathetic waste of humanity next to her.

"No, no, Bradley Biggle never pees his pants!" Bradley feebly tried to cover his pants and hide the fact he had just peed himself. Saving face, however, was not easy in some situations.

Esther sighed, "I'll escort my HUSBAND to a toliet. Keep an eye on Henry, Kevin." she and her husband got up and left. The marital problems between the couple were no secret - one could definitely hear the mumbling of Esther, and the excuses of Bradley. Henry shrugged, not really aware of his parent's marital problems

"Clyde, Jason, both of you keep an eye on fatass- lock him in his bedroom or something. Don't let him out of the room." Kenny ordered, the two men obeying immediately. Clyde quickly wrapped an arm around Cartman's elbow, the obese man yanking, but Clyde stood his ground. Jason did the same, unwilling to let Cartman go free.

"Awh, dammit!" Cartman cussed angrily - this was greatly interfering with his plans for the evening. No sneaking into Kyle's room, no raiding Token's fridge. No, Clyde and Jason were holding him in the gayest of gay ways. Motherfucker.

"And put on Family Guy and don't give him the remote." Kyle's eyes narrowed - even if Cartman wasn't guilty of murder, he goddamn deserved it. He would totally strap Cartman to a chair and play all of his Family Guy DVDs. Over one-hundred and fifty episodes worth to destroy his mind. Ah, revenge is sweet.

"No, Kyle, come on, buddy! Anything but this!" Cartman begged, eyes wide with fear and regret. No, nothing, nothing but Family Guy. He'd sooner kill himself than watch that show.

"See fellers, the way I reckon, the killer's gotta be-" Butters raised a hand, pointing up as he began to explain his long, carefully thought-out solution, but he was swiftly interrupted.

"What killer?" Token stood, present in full tuxedo with bowtie and gloves, and for overkill, an imposing top hat. He was quite puzzled by the discussion he'd just accidentally entered. Heidi was at his side in a sparkling emerald dress. She had a bit of a bored expression - she wasn't having much fun here. But she stayed loyally at his side.

"Fosse's been sh-sh-sh-shaa... sh-sh-sh-sh-shaaa... sh-sh-sh- there's a bullet in his head." Jimmy explained, struggling to fully get out the words in an almost Porky Pig-esque manner. He, for one, was shocked to see Token's sudden presence.

"Timmeh!" Timmy interjected, again displaying his incredible mastery of the English language.

"What?" Token's demeanor changed as he rushed to the seat, astonished at the corpse of Fosse, which had stiffened by now. He was afraid to touch the corpse, but nonetheless examined it - "He was in my seat... which means-"

"Awful convenient you just happened to walk in late, huh Token?" challenged Stan, arms crossed, eyes narrow. His black hair was a bit messier as he approached Token confrontationally - there was no question of Stan's beliefs or accusation - he was implicating Token. Token gave a sympathetic look, sighing,

Token began on a sincere note, looking Stan right in those dark blue eyes, "Stan, if this is about the whole thing with Coach-"

"Stan's right, you just happen to walk in right after Fosse dies." Annie crossed her arms over her chest, glaring and interrupting Token. She was an arrogant girl, but with an upbringing like her's, one could not blame her - male-dominated and teachings of empowerment.

"He's up with Pip now..." Powder said solemnly, thinking of her deceased friend. She had seldom admitted until his death her closeness with the boy but now that he was gone, all she could think of was him and the fact he was gone.

"I didn't do a damn thing!" Token denied when suddenly there was a pitch darkness, and a muffled scream. The lights kicked back on as suddenly as they'd gone out, and all gasped as Token Black's lifeless body lay, a knife plunged in his back, a napkin over his face and a pool of blood forming beneath him.

"Oh my God, they-they killed Token!" Lola bent over and wrapped her arms around the corpse, tears coming out. Heidi, on the other hand, just looked in shock, then turned and narrowed her eyes with anger, staring at the others with contempt as Lola cried all over Token's bleeding corpse.

"You... you bastards! Which one of you assholes did this to him?"

"Hold me, Ken!" cried Tammy as Kenny wrapped his arms around his wife. Jake and Rachel barely moved, still unaffected, however Tammy was in deep fear as her husband kept her close by. Kenny kept his arms tight around her - he hated seeing her in such fear.

"Jesus Christ." Clyde's hand covered his mouth in shock at his former friend's death - he was definitely shocked at this mysterious change in pacing. Token had once been a great friend, and then an enemy, and now he was nothing but a memroy.

"P-poor old Token was just so afraid of jail he k-killed himself, aw jeez..." Butters pounded his fists together nervously, unable to make eye contact with anyone else. The hardened criminal again simply a nervous child.

"He didn't kill himself you stupid donut pincher." Lizzy said, taking an assertive tone as she straightened herself, speaking with full confidence, "Token was murdered. My cousin's not the only smart one in this family - check the knife for fingerprints. And see who's napkin was taken."

"Well, well, blondie, looks like I taught you something after all." Terrance, arms crossed, smirked at his wife - sometimes he questioned the marriage, but moments like these reminded him why she had been the one blessed to spend her life with him and share his fortunes.

"Terry, just because I'm a hot blonde does not mean I'm stupid." Lizzy rolled her eyes at her husband. Indeed, she was no dumb blonde despite her rather attractive figure - which many felt was the exact reason she worked so hard to hide it.

Wendy, closer to the head of the table, picked up the napkin and then took the knife through it, "Looks clean to me. No prints." she reported quickly and calculatively. Wendy had learned quite a bit about law enforcement in pursuit of her own career. It was quite curious she should end up in such a mansion - she had been a murderer herself, as painful as those memories were.

"Nngh! Clyde's napkin is missing you guys!" Tweek cried, twitching quickly, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. Tweek wasn't the right person to be asking this sort of thing in all frankness but nonetheless he was correct.

"They probably used the napkin to cover the fingerprints." Wendy said. "Tweek, how about you go escort the kids upstairs?" she added quickly, the women all gravitating to one area, whispering their suspicions. It was just like High School.

"Gah, all right!" Tweek said. Alan, Alphonse, Gabe, Patrick, Rachel, Amanda, Jake and Shane all joined him reluctantly, the kids ranging from a toddler-aged Patrick to eleven-year-old Rachel, the oldest of the bunch, and definitely feeling it. Alan and Gabe barely spoke, whilst the others made their opinions known:

"I miss mom and dad..." Henry said quietly, wondering how his parents got stuck in the bathroom and whether his dad had cleaned his pants.

"Quit your whining, we'll be fine." Alphonse said cynically, rolling his eyes. He, for one, was fed up with being in his opinion, the smartest one present.

"Can you guys be quiet? I'd like to finish the Great Gatsby before we go home." Rachel said, reading her book as she walked. Being the oldest one was hard enough, but being the intelligent one without an ego was an even harder challenge. God knew she'd probably end up killing Alphonse.

"Just ignore them, Rache." Amanda advised quietly, not one to stir things up, putting a hand on her best friend's shoulder. Alan nodded without a word, following his friends.

"World domination..." mumbled Patrick, the toddler following as he absorbed every mental, photographic detail of the mansion before him.

"Oh, just what we need, another baby plotting world domination. Can't we be more fucking original than this?" Jake complained, his trademark blue parka muffling his vulgarity and his voice in all-too-familiar way.

"Not really, dude." Shane added, following Jake and trailing the group at it's end.

"Don't worry kids, it'll be all right." mumbled Tweek, "Let's just go to my room and I'll let you all drink some coffee or something, ngh!" Tweek wasn't sure how to take care of kids but godammit he was going to try. They quickly disappeared from view.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay." Bill tried to comfort Heidi and Lola - to the surprise of those around him, he'd put his grievances aside quickly. He also hadn't used the word 'gay' in quite a few minutes. Some were worried this wasn't the Bill they knew. And some honestly didn't care, because the Bill they knew was kind of a dick.

"I say we split up." Stan suggested confidently, quite sure of his methods. He used to watch old detective and crime shows as a kid all the time. Not to mention he still had his Junior Detective badge if all else failed.

"Really?" Craig said simply. No thought, no emotion.

"I think it's a good idea." Millie noted next to her boyfriend, the news anchor rather sure of Stan's thoughts. Millie reported this stuff all the time - she liked to think she knew what she was talking about. Even if her boyfriend was a criminal...

"We could probably cover a lot more ground." Annie added, agreeing with them. It was true - they could search the mansion and find possible murder weapons and so forth far more easily that way, at least that's what she thought.

"Don't you ever watch Horror movies? They always split up and get separated, and then they get lost, and then some of them end up making out and then they all end up dying." Craig said

"Stop being a dick, Craig." Kyle said with annoyance. Craig always hampered their ideas and investigations. Every thought in his mind was negative, and Kyle hated negativity. It never helped the situation, it just hurt it.

"I'll be with Butters, Wendy with Bebe, Heidi with Red, Rebecca with Tammy, Timmy with Jimmy, Millie with Nancy, Stan with Kyle, Kevin with Dogpoo, Annie with Lizzy, Lola with Powder, and Terrance with Bill. All same-sex so nobody... does shit right now. It's not a good time for that. Every group grab a walkie-talkie." Kenny ordered quickly, "Someone check on Cartman and the kids both locked up and... oh, keep an eye out for Bradley and Es, they're still in the bathroom."

"Did you guys ever think when you got that invitation 'Gee, this might backfire' or 'Oh, hey, you know, maybe this won't work out'. Did you ever think that?"

"Craig, nobody cares, okay?" Millie said with anger as everyone left, sick of Craig's rude behavior. Craig flipped her off, then simply smiled,

"Nice and boring. Just the way I like it."


	5. Chapter 5

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

"So Annie, how are things with Timmy?" Lizzy asked as the two women strolled through the halls. Lizzy was usually dressed somewhere in-between feminine and masculine - a pink parka, per example. But she'd chosen a tux for the occasion, hoping to hide herself. Though showing off her curves was a part of her profession, her tomboyish attitude prevented her from doing so for most other imaginable reasons.

"Horrible. He used to be so sweet, but now I question if it's the same man I married..." Annie shook her head. In contrast to Lizzy, Annie was dressed rather feminine. She still had the same blonde curls, but the brown dress was a stark departure from the somewhat manly clothing of youth. Annie was quite a girly-girl, despite - or perhaps because of - the rather rude treatment she sometimes got as a child. Between her boyish looks and middle name, she was quite a target.

"That bad, huh?" Lizzy said with sympathy - while she and Terrance had a rather healthy relationship, he was not her first serious relationship, and she understood Annie's trouble, feeling bad for her. It was one thing having relationship trouble as a kid, but marital problems were worrying.

"I'm afraid so... I'm thinking of filing for divorce to be honest..." Annie replied, Lizzy's eyes widening. Divorce was a serious gesture, even if it was for the better.

"You sure?" Lizzy asked, raising an eyebrow. Both women stopped as they reached the door to the kitchens. Annie pushed it open, both girls gasping as they gazed at the vast amount of food before them, "Woah." There was a massive amount of food: chocolate cakes, pies, a full turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, all sorts of delicious wonders.

"We should, uh, look for clues, in that chocolate cake." Lizzy suggested with a nod toward Annie. It made perfect sense - they hid the clues in chocolate cake.

"Agreed!"

xXx

"So Star Wars kid, what's it like havin' a family? I bet it's nice." came Dogpoo's gruff voice. He had no formal clothes - he was covered in dirt and scratches, with wild brown eyes and messy, gray hair that to be creeped Kevin the fuck out in all honesty. He wore a brown jacket over his brown shirt and wore khakis with rips and tears.

"Don't call me that." Kevin grumbled quietly - he was dressed quite opposite, in a nice sky-colored suit, his black hair combed well, "Yes, I have a family - I got drunk and made out with my ex-best friend at a college party and next thing I have a job working for Poison magazine and had a girlfriend. Life's funny sometimes I guess."

"I never went to college. I live in a cardboard box off Howard and Spooner." Dogpoo said dryly, not sugar coating a thing. He was jealous of all of his friends - many felt they had problems of their own, but Dogpoo, for one, desperately wished to have a life as 'extravagant' as their's.

"I'm sure there's had to have been one moment you were thankful." Kevin said, looking toward the Arcade - a good place to search, he thought as they made their way into the direction. Kevin had to confess he always loved arcades and video games. He hated himself for passing such nerdy thoughts and sighed slightly.

"Yeah, well, when people throw money at me sometimes I'm lucky if I can afford McDonald's twice a day." Dogpoo quipped as they pushed open the doors to the arcade, looking in. "Nothing." Dogpoo reported quickly - not a sign of the killer.

"Well come on, let's look around, we might still find some kind of clue." Kevin advised as he went to inspect one of the many machines. Dogpoo shrugged and did so as well, checking another machine, taking a good look around it, an old machine - besides it being exceedling dirty, it was fine. He turned to check on Kevin.

"Ms. Pacman's okay. How's Space Invaders? ...Kevin, how's Space Invaders? Kevin?" Dogpoo turned to see Kevin furiously playing the game, and promptly facepalmed. "Kevin godammit!"

xXx

Timmy and Jimmy had chosen a different path, off to check the television room for clues - it was right by the guest rooms where everyone's stuff was anyway. Timmy used the controls on his wheelchair to keep going forward, while Jimmy used his crutches far more proficiently than he had as a child. "Timmah!"

"You're right, tim-Tim, I hear it, too." Jimmy nodded, "I think it's coming from the b-b-b-bathroom." The two handi-capable men stopped and approached one of the many doors in the hallyway, this one with a symbol on it indicating a bathroom rather than a closet. Jimmy tapped the door with his crutch, "He-He-Hello?"

"Jimmy! Timmy! Thank Mint you're here! We got locked up in the bathroom!" came Bradley Biggle's nervous voice through the doorway. He was pretty humiliated at having gotten himself and his wife locked up in the bathroom.

"Apparently there are no berry-themed door opening suoper powers." came Esther's voice with clear arrogance - years later, her husband remained inept with his super powers. She, for one, was not happy with this arrangment one bit. Not to mention the obvious implications of a husband and wife being stuck in a bathroom.

"Oh, you crazy kids, s-s-stuck in the bathroom. Wow, what a great audience. D-d-d-on't worry, we'll t-tell the others you're in here, it's fo-for the best anyway with the killer about very much, you know." Jimmy explained.

"Jimmy, you copy?" came Stan's voice through the walkie-talkie in Timmy's free hand. Jimmy turned around and Timmy held it out to him. Jimmy moved forward, a bit glad to have Stan checking up on them at least and not just leaving them to wander.

"Timmay!" Timmy said as he shoved the walkie-talkie to Jimmy, using his eloquent voice. Jimmy quickly took the walkie-talkie and placed it to his ear. "D'awh!" Timmy added, Jimmy nodding in agreement. Even though they had once been rivals, nobody really understood Timmy in the way Jimmy did.

"I c-c-c-copy, Stan. We'll be right th-th-th-th-th we'll be with you in a second. Over." Jimmy replied into the walkie-talkie, turning and beginning to move away on his crutches. Timmy began to leave as well, pressing forward with the joystick on his chair.

"No wait, get us out of here!" Bradley said with deep fear evident. Timmy wheeled back to the door, hitting it twice as he struggled to open it. No luck. The door was shut.

"Go Timmah go!" he turned and left.

xXx

Terrance's business suit was lazily put on, yet somehow it fit him far better than the tuxedo on a nervous and fidgety Bill, who kept looking about, holding his hands together - he feared his brother's fate. Bill had always been a follower - rarely one of independent thought, just an imitator of his brother.

"Relax, Fosse died by accident you incompetent moron. There's no hit-list with your names on it." Terrance advised his cousin with annoyance. Why must Bill be so stupid. How his cousins sullied the name Mephesto with their anti-scientific minds.

"I don't wanna die." Bill said quietly, clearly disturbed. Bill was speaking the truth - he didn't want to die. He also didn't want to be alone. He had lost his brother and best friend - the only person left to turn to now was his cousin. The chain-of-command had been broken, and Bill found himself reporting directly to number one for the first time.

"Bill, you are so goddamned stupid." Terrance crossed his arms skeptically, brown eyes focused on his cousin as they laid back in the guest room hallway. Bill looked down, sighing and then speaking rather quietly to him,

"I-I just feel like I lost my whole life, that was my brother man, now he's gone. Whenever things went wrong or anything, Fosse always knew what to do. Whenever I had a problem, Fosse was there. I mean even if he was kind of a dick sometimes, he was... there. I don't want to be alone... I can't take it!"

"Shut up and get over it - though your brother may be dead, you will survive." Terrance explained, "You can't let loss get in the way of your own life- that's not what they want. Become your own person, not Fosse's brother, just as I became Terrance, and not Dr. Mephesto's son." Terrance nodded before turning and heading back down the hall.

xXx

"So how'd you end up as a maid?" asked Powder, in a black, modest dress, her hair feathered out - despite her clear depression, she had put quite some work into her appearance, "For Token, of all people." she asked, her voice quiet and calm.

"Shove it," Lola was still in her maid outfit, sans the hat, she closed her eyes as they made their way toward the library, "I never intended to be a maid - I was going to become a restaraunt manager. Then I ran into Token after college..."

"And?" Powder crossed her arms.

"And what?"

"How'd you end up working for South Park's very own eccentric mega millionaire?" Powder said with a hint of annoyance - people could be so stupid sometimes, she thought to herself as she awaited Lola's answer. Lola sighed a bit,

"Token was my boyfriend in High School - he left me for that bitch Heidi... those feelings never died." Lola explained, "And then when I ran into him again... well, I allowed my heart to fool me, kill my amibition. I agreed to help out at his mansion however I could, and yes, I ended up his maid." she sighed, "And now he's dead. I wasted the last seven years of my life."

"Welcome to the club, Lola." Powder said with annoyance, eyes narrowed toward Lola. Lola raised an eyebrow with confusion, not sure exactly what Powder was referring to,

"Huh?"

"My love died twenty years ago. He tried to save the town, but ended up losing his life. And did he die a martyr? No. In an age where people will condemn the deaths of tyrants like Osama bin Laden, I am the only person to visit or leave a flower at Pip Pirrup's grave - which I paid for, might I add." She closed her eyes, "I didn't know it. I never saw it coming... yet I loved him, I knew it then, I know is still now. He may be gone, but my passion is immortal."

Lola's eyebrows were raised, concern showing as she stepped forward, looking rather guilty, "Po- Sally- I never realized..."

"Of course not. To all of you, he was an annoying French whop - to me, he was a kind, sweet outcast." Powder said, "Think about that the next time your precious Token is lost. Be glad you had time with him." Powder left back toward the guest rooms.

xXx

Heidi and Red approached Clyde and Jason who stood outside the locked door of Cartman's rom. Jason had not dressed too formal - a white button-down shirt and red tie. Though both stood outside the door, neither actually did much else. Clyde was playing with his iPhone and Jason was holding his arms as if there was a rifle in his hands.

"How goes it, boys?" Red asked with her electrifying smile that had won so many hearts over the years, an elegant violet dress with a low neckline enveloped around her body. Jason let out a small sigh and dryly reported their status,

"Oh, it's fine Cartman's just whining about Token being a black asshole."

"Might as well let him out." Heidi said, hands on her hips, disappointed with messy hair and a dirty dress she could no longer look her best, "Token's dead. It wasn't fatass." Heidi explained nonchalantly. Clyde and Jason looked at each other with shock.

"Oh my God... they killed Token?" Clyde said in disbelief at his friend's death. No, it wasn't possible. Token had been such a good friend, he couldn't be dead... I mean, Token had been alive just a few hours ago, Clyde'd spoken to him...

"Bastards." Jason added simply. Whoever killed Token was going down, and they had Jason to answer to now. Jason was a vengeful person after all.

"We're not letting him out dude, he threatened to make us eat our parents." alleged Clyde, his tux partially unbuttoned due to the humidity within the rich, expansive mansion, "Jason could barely handle him when I was taking a shit."

"How are you keeping that door locked anyway?" asked Heidi, Jason scoffing.

"That's easy." Jason, pulling something out from behind his back. Jason smirked as he looked at it, "Oh, why hello there Clyde Frog-"

"Leave him alone you guys!" cried Cartman's voice from behind the door, "If you lay a fucking finger on him I swear I'll make you eat your fucking parents you asswipes..." he said desperately, not willing to let anyone hurt his beloved stuffed animal.

"Isn't it just adorable?" Clyde said, laughing in triumph. Cartman wouldn't try to unlock the door with his beloved toy at risk. The fact Cartman had actually packed a stuffed animal was enough fun but being able to use it for a hostage situation and to keep Cartman from getting out was just an added bonus - icing on the cake.

xXx

Rebecca Cotswolds-Broflovski and Tammy Warner-McCormick were not the first, nor the last, to reach the actual bedrooms for search. Some blamed faulty designing, others blamed fate, but point being they were in the visible viscinity now - the Stotch and Tucker doors were opened and being searched. "Well, what room do we check?" Tammy asked.

"Jason's." suggested Rebecca, shaking her head a bit, her sandy, bushy brown curls moving away from her eyes - she had chosen a suprisingly conservative sapphire dress, odd given her profession. Her eyes scanned across the room.

Tammy opened the door, allowing Rebecca to enter, feeling mentally defeated - of course they paired her with the smart girl, the perfect girl. "So how are things at the Peppermint Hippo?" she asked. Tammy's husband had picked for her a golden dress that showed off more than Liane Cartman's legendary dresses. Tammy was reluctant to take it, but she had a hard time saying 'no' to Kenny.

"Boring. Yolanda's on another sting, less johns coming in than when we were all rumored to have syphillis." Once again, no offense intended, but nonetheless it was committed, "How are things with your husband?"

"Oh fine." she lied. Things weren't fine - she and Kenny had spent a month arguing over the prospect of letting Kenny's parents move in with them, and it had definitely packed a punch. Their sex life had virtually died, which is saying something considering the couple in question. She'd almost grown suspect of his loyalty, but he finally conceded to leave his parents in the clubhouse and things returned to their usual wild ways - but somehow she knew that wasn't the end of the issue.

"I'm... sorry to hear that." replied Rebecca, clearly seeing through Tammy's clear attempt to cover up her rather minor marital issues, but despite Tammy's doubting skills, she detected sinecrity in Rebecca's voice.

"You think Jason did anything?" Tammy asked with genuine curiosity - they had found virtually nothing in Jason's bedroom, at least nothing of real interest. Rebecca had opened a suitcase and was searching through it with an expression so neutral Craig would be jealous. Tammy doubted any role by Jason in what had been taking place.

"No. Nothing of interest here." Rebecca confirmed Tammy's suspicions as she closed the suitcase and replaced it, "Jason seems clean."

"Any idea, who it is?" Tammy asked her reluctantly - she had no idea. Her self-estreem prevented her from seeing herself as smart, and being in the present of one she felt was smarter than her handicapped her when it came to thinking for herself.

"Frankly, I haven't a clue." Rebecca replied as they excited Jason's room. She looked around and nodded towards the Mephestos' room.

xXx

Stan and Kyle had their hands in each other's hair as they passionately made out in a clo-

Just kidding.

There was little difference between the suits both men had chosen - Stan's was more of a proper tuxedo with a bowtie, while Kyle's was more of a business suit with a dark red tie. Kyle adjusted his cufflinks as they approached Tweeks' bedroom, knocking. The door opened and Tweek answered, barely opening it. "Augh! Please can I let them go?" he asked.

"Dad! Shane keeps trying on my clothes!" Amanda complained, stepping behind Tweek, sticking her head out a bit. Stan facepalmed at his children's quarreling as his son stepped forward as well, eyes narrow at his sister,

"Dad, Amanda's tattling!" Shane was incredulous his sister would betray him in such a devious manner, much less to their father.

"Kids, we need you to stay put while there's a killer on the loose!" Kyle said, crossing his arms. He may not have a child himself - yet, at least - but godammit he wasn't letting anyone's kids run out and get killed on his watch.

"See what I mean? God, I can't entertain kids!" Tweek twitched, sipping some coffee. Stan and Kyle weren't happy with how Tweek was trying to manage his problems with the kids. The kids gravitated toward the door and the disturbance.

"Oooh, a killer! Cool, let's go on an adventure!" cried Jake excitedly. Stan nosebridgepinched - why didn't these kids realize how serious crap is? He wondered if he and his friends were this crazy as kids, getting stupid ideas to do stuff, and then backfiring...

"Aw shit, Kyle!" Stan glared angrily. And now Kyle was giving the kids ideas. Godammit. This was a rather overwhelming situation already, and this wasn't helping Stan's mood management in the slightest. Dammit dammit dammit...

"Just like dad and Uncle Kyle and-" Shane began, preparing to do the rather borderline insane task of listing every uncle and relative he could think of, when his sister pushed him back into the room.

"Shane, take those pants off, those are mine!" Amanda scolded angrily with her little brother. Stan mentally wished he had never agreed with Wendy to have a second child, and then mentally wished that last thought had never taken place.

"Argh, everyone shut up!" Tweek cried, hands on his face as he screamed, the children instantly silencing themselves in fear. Stan and Kyle backing away nervously as well.

xXx

"This is King Mamba to Hockey Spooger, over."

"Dammit Kenny, I said Football Spooger!"

"All your stupid Sports are the same to me." Kenny replied into his walkie-talkie, "Me and Butters are going to search Token's room, over." Kenny had chosen a blue suit with a black bowtie, and had finally grown out of the hood, well-cut blonde hair and budding facial hair visible, blue eyes intently focused.

"Awh jeez Kenny, do we have to search Token's room?" One could only guess at how or why Butters had reverted back to his childish stupidity after being in jail as a hardened criminal ready to conquer the world. Mysterion and Professor Chaos, it seemed, were now united as allies.

"Yes, we do." Kenny pushed open the doors. Butters, feeling his stubble, nervously entered. His puff of blonde hair had become a large, wilder amount, his once baby blue eyes now a dark, violet color. Butters pushed his fists together nervously,

"You sure he won't be too m-mad?" Butters asked, because he needed one last confirmation this was totally okay and not a problem or anything.

"He's dead Butters." Kenny said nonchalantly, a hint of annoyance in his voice. There was really no point, at least in his opinion, in seeking the approval of a dead man. And this was coming from a man who'd experienced death over three hundred times.

"Oh, uh, right." Butters pounded his fists together again, holding his knuckles together as if his hands were supposed to be connected there. He didn't like this. No, he did not. He shouldn't be in here. Not at all.

Kenny approached Token's dresser - pictures of Heidi, his parents, graduation, even a still of himself with Clyde, Craig and Jimmy, from the fourth grade remained. It was sad how Token had evolved from such a kind, sweet boy into a corporate monster. Then again, Kenny considered Token's change of life might have been real - it was clear now it was no scheme.

"Hey Kenny, what's this?" Butters stood at Token's dresser, holding a book. Kenny turned around and approached, taking the book and reading the cover, the two ten speaking together, "The Journal of Token Richard Black." Eyes wide at a book that may hold the ultimate answer to their problems, they were broken from the spell by a voice on their walkie-talkie.

"This is an alert to everyone in the mansion. Code Yellow. Regroup. The Donovans' bedroom."


	6. Chapter 6

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

Flash. Kyle snapped a photograph of the crime scene as Wendy wrote a detailed description in a small notebook. The resident artist Esther missing, Annie had offered the task of drawing the crime scene. Along with Kenny, who was the only detective and was examining the crime scene, and the spouses of the deceased, these were the only people present in the room. The rest of the group was outside, looking in.

"Oh my God... they k-killed them..." Butters sighed sadly, tapping his little fingers together nervously, unable to make contact, tears forming in his blue eyes. This was too much. Just too much for him.

"Those b-b-b-bah... b-b-b-bah... b-b-bah... b-b-b-bastards..." Jimmy added in shock, eyes wide at the bodies before him. This was impossible. It was all some kind of giant lie. It couldn't have really happened. No way.

"Mildred 'Millie' Lisa Carter-Stotch, and Nancy Elsie Bolger-Valmer, both age twenty-nine, teacher for the elementary school and a musician respectively. Multiple stab wounds on both." Wendy said as she wrote, "You really want it to be detailed, Kenny?" The detective nodded worldlessly. Heidi rolled her eyes.

"I just can't believe it..." said Kyle, staring down at them. All eyes, however, were on Clyde. It took him a few moments before Clyde realized it, eyes widening as he looked around. It was no exaggeration to say Clyde was extremely uncomfortable.

"He- no..." Heidi said in disbelief. It wasn't possible. How could he be so cruel? He had once been such a sweet, sensitive boy, and now look what he was doing. Picking them off one by one... the bastard...

"It wasn't us, I swear..." Clyde pleaded nervously, "J-just ask Jason!" he added, looking around at the people who were usually his friends with the deepest fear. He didn't want to end up in a cold, hard prison cell, spending all night being sodomized. He didn't want to leave behind his wife. Or his shoe shop. Or his secret cooking recipe book...

"You did have to leave to, uh, 'take a shit'..." Jason used air quotations on that last bit, skeptical now of Clyde's original claim. Clyde raised an eyebrow - would Jason really contest his bathroom use of all things? Really? Really?

"Oh, come ON!" whined Clyde. Even his wife had distanced herself, as if nervous for her own life. The only one still in his viscinity was Craig Tucker, his pokerface still up as always. Craig didn't care who the killer was - all he cared about was when the other assholes found him and decided to let everyone go home already.

"Clyde can't be the only suspect. Anyone could have a hole in their alibis. What we need is a motive." Stan said. Clyde smiled at Stan, happy to be defended by someone, but Stan glared back - just because he was playing nicely with Clyde doesn't at all mean he was pleased with him, or that Clyde wasn't on his list of suspects.

"My poor, sweet Millie! She was gonna have twins n' everything! Things were finally supposed to turn around! This is all my fault for gettin' arrested, I never got to spend any time with her!" would-be murderer Butters Stotch bawled, sitting next to Jimmy Valmer, who was wiping away tears of his own. Two of the most sensitive boys in the town, now crying over their mutual losses - it truly was a shame.

"My poor N-N-N-Nah, N-N-N-N-Nah, N-N-Nah, Nancy..." Jimmy cried, an arm around Butters. With their wives left, the two men turned to each other, hoping their mutual loss and friendship could provide a source of comfort.

"All right, there's something else you all need to see..." Kenny said, motioning to follow him. The group diffused into the hallway and then followed the detective toward the bedroom of Token's Black. Again, they were lead through doors and filled the regal room, looking for a sign of the problem. It seemed as if everythin was fine...

"What is it?" Jason asked, curious what the hell the big deal was. It was just Token's room - nothing remarkable.

"Hey, is it safe to just leave the bodies back there?" Powder asked, her question falling on deaf ears. The large group fit comfortably in the master bedroom and gathered around the desk Kenny had approached, his hand on top of it. A few people raised eyebrows, many confused.

"All right, what's this about?" Bebe asked, arms crossed over her chest. This was a waste of time - the culprit's identity was obvious and it was time they just

"It's about this..." Kenny opened the drawer and placed the hardcover journal on the dresser where all could see, reading the inscribed handwriting on the cover. Mouths hushed and eyes focused - all knew what it was, yet they did not wish to acknowledge it or it's significance.

"So what's important about the book? Does it have the killer's identity?" Terrance asked, hunched over the same cane his father had used, which despite it's frail appearance, it supported his frame quite well, his thick eyebrows raised in curiosity. Normally Terrance was one to teach things to others, but here he was looking for answers from someone he usually saw as little more than a parasite.

"No, but it does have a list of things he's done to each of us, establishing our much-needed motives..." Kenny opened the book to a page somewhere in the middle, and loudly cleared his throat as he began reading, "'McCormicks, Kenny and Tammy - reported to police on wedding night. Insisted they had broken into house, implicated in robbery. Report placed on permanent records, hindering plans to work on police force. Declared several items stolen. Barbrady barely remembered' - as you can see, he kept detailed records, though it seems the intention here was to make up."

"Robbery? Why did you guys steal?" Butters asked, pounding his hands together nervously, looking away in fear of his friend. He had no idea Kenny would do such a thing... oh gosh, what if he robbed him next? God knew he was such an easy target-

"Shut up Butters." Kenny snapped angrily at the man, still acting like a quiet and immature little boy, "Exagerrated report - my brother stole his wedding gift and Token suddenly decided every single item at the wedding was a steal. I didn't even get any wedding cake till Stan and Wendy wed." Stan took the book and turned a few pages back,

"Marsh, Stan - called Coach Garrett and informed of... steroid addiction! Planted several- That bastard! That's why Coach Garrett kicked me off the team?" Stan sneered, "And I thought I hated him before..." Stan said angrily, suddenly feeling the urge to find Token's corpse and pay certain French mercenaries to do absolutely horrible things to it. Or at the very least pay those guys from the cemetary to molest it like he knew they wanted to.

"Ugh, this is so fucking stupid..." Craig crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at his friends' stupidity, quickly flipping Stan off in annoyance. Like anyone gave a crap what Token did. It was childish of Token to list his misdeeds and childish of everyone else to be so snooty and curious in the information.

Stan turned several pages and read aloud, "Tucker, Craig - submitted to a modeling company just to piss him off... huh?" Stan raised an eyebrow. Craig flipped him off promptly, not wishing to think about that shit right now.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I always keep my finger up in every stupid picture and they just tell me I'm 'edgy'. At least the shit pays well." Craig said, noting he was far wealthier than anyone else around - not something he felt like gloating about but it was damn true.

"Broflovski, Kyle - reported senior thesis as plagarized and destroyed all chances of making it into the Ivy League. Awwh, dude!" Stan said with sympathy for his friend, looking to Kyle. He sighed and looked down, saying nothing. This wasn't an issue he wanted to bring back out into the open. His wife wrapped an arm around him comfortingly. Stan simply nodded and went on, not wishing to bring back painful memories - he remembered Kyle nearly breaking down.

"Donovan, Clyde and Bebe - found half-naked photos of Bebe in Clyde's work e-mail and forwarded to everyone at his office. Insisted to Clyde it was an accident. Then spread photos outside of Clyde's workplace and blamed co-workers. Also bought his favorite taco shop and closed it down." Stan noted, raising an eyebrow, feeling a bit bad for Clyde. Lucky for him, Wendy did not produce her naughty photographs for him via computer... er, she didn't really produce many photographs at all now that he thought of it...

"Let me see that!" Bebe swiped it quickly and eagerly, flipping through the pages and looking for the ideal dirt on everyone. She wasn't much of a gossip anymore - but she couldn't help reverting to her childhood ways from time-to-time as he looked for her name.

"Look, I'm gonna go collect some fingerprints. Heidi, Clyde, there's safety in numbers, follow me." Kenny said, motioning for the two to follow him. Clyde and Heidi quickly joined him, Heidi having adjusted back to herself somewhat, Clyde looking almost Tweek-like in his fear of being 'apprehended' as the killer, looking both ways as the group exited Token's bedroom and faded from sight.

"See you all later," Heidi said, with a small hint of perfectionism for the first time in quite a few hours. She had recovered quickly and was once again sure of herself. And being full of herself again was exactly the thing to piss off the girls. The two filed out with Kenny quietly.

"...Kevin, Red, he nearly drove you guys to divorce?" asked Bebe in surprise as she read the page, the red-haired woman nodding solemnly, eyes closed. The issue seemed to be rather sensitive, but Red showed little fear, only hesitation. Kevin on the other hand, looked distant, nervous, much like he had been in much of his youth,

"It was supposed to be the story of my career... Hollywood starlet cheating with a co-star." Kevin explained quietly, "Next thing I know, I'm reading a detailed description of my wife meeting up with one of her co-stars and... ugh." he closed his eyes with anger. His wife pat his back,

"Sh, it's okay." she said soothingly, "I got word a few days later that Kevin had hooked up with Heidi doing an interview with her for Poison and as soon as that article was out, we had a fight, and well, we filed for divorce. It was going to be a tough battle, especially with Alan right in the middle, but..."

"The only thing that saved our marriage," Kevin noted, "Was the fact I let slip Token was the one informing me about this so-called Hollywood starlet... we put two and two together."

"McHugh, Jason - conned him out of $20,000 with an irrepairably broken-down DeLorean." Bebe raised an eyebrow, looking to Jason. Jason sighed a bit, kicking the floor in annoyance with himself as his eyes glided away from those nearby - clearly he was not happy with the decision he had made and didn't wish to discuss.

"He didn't break it down until after he sold it to me... it was just like the one in Back to the Future! He knew I'd been looking for one for years." Jason said nervously, not comfortable with the spotlight on him. Bebe rolled her eyes and continued reading,

"Biggle, Bradley and Esther - bought out Comic-Factory and the Mint-Berry Crunch brand name, sold them to Spicy Weiner Studio, which created a series of Mint-Berry Crunch hentai. Esther lost creative control and neither have access to the name Mint-Berry Crunch anymore." Bebe let out a chuckle, "Tweek, Tweak... blamed for aggravated assault... Cotswolds, Rebecca... didn't pay for exotic dancing... Dogpoo, signed up for bumfights... Valmer, Jimmy, introduced him to Jay Leno after promising Conan O'Brien... Bill and Fosse, took away funding for-" Bebe read quickly, curious to get as much gossip as possible-

BANG! BANG!

The group moved, Stan and Kyle poking their heads out into the hallway, noticing blood on the floor as they looked toward the nearest bedroom, "Dude, what the fuck is going on?" Heidi stood outside, holding a pistol, looking scared out of her wits. "Heidi, what the fuck?"

Heidi looked both ways and ran without a word, dropping the pistol at her feet. Kevin, Jason, Bill and Dogpoo pushed Stan and Kyle aside and ran after her, "Get that bitch!" he said as the four men began tracking the women - she was out of their sights but they knew damn well which way she went and wouldn't rest until they found her.

Stan, Kyle and Tammy approached the bedroom and peeked inside, Stan's eyes widening with fear, "Ohh-oh my God, they-they killed Kenny!"

Kyle gasped, "You BASTARDS!"

"I'll kick your fucking ass!" Tammy added in the hallway, running to her husband's bloody corpse, hugging it to her body, ignoring everything else but herself and her husband, "I'm so sorry, Ken, please, you can't be dead, don't die, you can't die... "

"Wow, poor Kenny..." Kyle sighed, as he and Stan exchanged nervous glances, both looking down at the floor. Their friend was gone forever - they would never see Kenny again. Ever. They saluted their fallen comrade, and the master detective who was on the case suddenly felt like a relic of the past, a figment of their imagination.

By now, the group had gathered in the hallway, Stan and Kyle regrouping with them and leaving Tammy to mourn her husband in peace, "Guys, I think what we need to do is split up." Wendy suggested with confidence in her voice - she was rather sure of her idea.

"Yeah, Wendy's right." Stan put an arm around his life-long love, "Let's split up to look for clues." he explained, sounding awful similar to Fred Jones of Scooby Doo! fame as he reiterated his wife's wishes for the group. Jimmy Valmer stepped forward, not very happy with his idea - he was going through the stages of mourning, and he was in the stage of being pissed off right now.

"Splitting up didn't work b-b-before, we need to stick together, right Tim-Tim?" Jimmy locked to his best friend for support in this time of crisis. With his wife gone, he needed someone to back him up - he couldn't stand a chance alone.

"Timmay!" Timmy didn't even question Jimmy's claim and simply agreed with him blindly - he for one, had little real choice in the argument and just took his best friend's side for the sake of trying to argue over something that wasn't too big a deal. He just wanted to get out of her and rock his ass off.

"We already lost four people chasing her, Tweek's still watching the kids and we don't even know where Clyde or Cartman are." Rebecca pointed out, her husband's arm around her - he seemed to agree with her, though he did not actually show any sign of such.

"What we really need to do is get our phones back." interjected Lizzy - her argument was met with nods of approval from the girls. Lizzy had a great idea, in fact, all of the girls would love to have their phones back. The men cared little and mostly sided with their wives solely for the fact they are good husbands.

"Yeah, where are they Lola?" Annie asked, looking toward the home's former maid with suspicion. Lola rolled her eyes, having expected this treatment as soon as her love and master was murdered. She stepped forward,

"The walk-in closet near the front door. I still have my keys but it's pretty unlikely any of you can get reception out here." Lola explained quickly, having predicted the question would come and having prepared her response a while in advance.

"We have to try." Terrance nodded, stepping forward as he leaned on his cane again, eager to get moving and not just stand there and argue with these imbecilic oafs. How sick he was of these idiotic people...

"I still say we need to split up." Wendy said, crossing her arms confidently - she knew her way was the correct way, at least as she saw it. She turned her head and closed her eyes in an almost childish look of sureness of herself.

"If we hadn't let Kenny split off, he would still be a-a-a-ali a-a-ali a-a- not dead." Jimmy said confrontationally, dragging himself forward with his crutches as he glared at Wendy. The battle lines were being drawn - this was going to be a difficult argument.

"Yeah, well screw you guys, I'm getting my phone." Lizzy said, as she and Annie joined Lola, Red, Tammy, Rebecca, Powder and Bebe and left, leaving Wendy and the men to argue over their petty strategies.

"How about this time we split into groups or three or four?"

"Shut up Butters, nobody cares what you think!" Craig said angrily toward the little blonde boy as he pounded his fists together, nervously, looking away. The groups moved forward, standing across from each other and glaring.

"Jimmy, stop trying to take charge, I'm the one who's in the town government." Wendy said, putting her hands on her hips, getting sick of Jimmy's attempts to take control of the situation when in her opinion he was only dereailing good ideas and causing mistrust and chaos in an already heated environment.

Jimmy stepped forward, "Yeah well at least I'm not a b-b-b-bah, b-b-b-b-baaah, b-b-b-bitch!" he struggled with the words, but the message came across, and there was no questioning what he'd said or meant.

"Hey, take that back, Wendy is not a bitch!" Stan said, stepping forward again to defend his wife. Wendy could handle it herself but she liked seeing her husband support her. The arguing was loud and chaotic as the groups were consumed in anger.

xXx

"Motherfucker, we lost her!" Dogpoo cursed loudly in his usual, raspy voice. This was pissing him off beyond belief - he wanted Heidi dead. Now. That bitch wasn't going to go around killing people and get away with it. And just 'cause Dogpoo was homeless doesn't mean he didn't care. After catching his breath, Dogpoo took off down another corridor. Bill and Jason stood near, sighing.

"She can't be too far." Bill said, "She's been the killer all along, we shoulda knew it, guys." he said in his deep voice, looking away. She killed his brother, and he would make sure she paid for that, he repeated to himself.

"Don't beat yourself up." Jason consoled, putting a hand on Bill's shoulder for comfort. It felt odd to see Bill in such a vulnerable position - traditionally he was one of the bullies, but here he was a vulnerable kid left on his own for the first time.

"I bet you she's in Token's room!" Bill said, crossing his arms under his suit, pushing away his sadness away, and returning to the stubbornness he had displayed when copying his brother, "Bet you!" he insisted surely - his guess wasn't likely off the mark. Jason had surmised the same thing.

"Let's just go check you asshole." Jason said, leading them to Token's room. It was a short walk as they opened the door to the room quietly - the luxurious bedroom with full bed canopy remained there, but a major change had taken place in the scenery - a fear-gripped Heidi stood there, eyes meeting them. "There you are, you bitch!" Jason snapped.

Heidi's eyes widened as she put a hand out, "Hold on, you don't understand, I'm not the killer, I-"

BANG!

An entrance wound on Heidi Turner's forehead bled profusely as she fell back, dark green eyes staring up at the ceiling in a now eternal state of shock. Her corpse landed in front of Token's bed, her head banging slightly on the wooden chest in front of the bed, causing her body to land on it's side.

"Oh my God, they killed Heidi!" cried a shocked Jason, covering his mouth.

"...you.. bastard?" Bill said quietly, backing away slightly, he and Jason exchanged nervous glances as they stared. It had happened again. Another human life cheaply tossed aside and destroyed by some kind of inhuman killer walking among them. It was hard for it to pierce them, the mere idea someone they had known for decades was killing each of them.

"Guys, some help please?" came the voice of Bradley, still stuck in the bathroom. He and his wife were getting quite sick of living in a bathroom without food, and personally Bradley was getting kind of hungry about now. Bill and Jason approached the door. "Hello?"

"Bradley, did someone just run by?" Bill asked, crossing his arms curiously. Hopefully Bradley and Esther held some kind of clue to the killer's identity.

"Yeah, but he didn't speak. Why?" Esther replied, "The girls and Kevin came by too, Kevin said he'd get a crowbar to let us out." she reported, a bit of happiness escaping as she said the latter - not that Esther wanted to hide how glad she was they'd be getting out, just that

"Heidi's dead." he said, continuing after a moment of silence, "Oh, okay, we'll leave you be then." Jason said as he and Bill fled down another corridor to search for whatever had taken Heidi's life. Hearing them walk away, there was a noise of what sounded like a thump or a hit.

"Aw shit." Bradley sighed.

xXx

"That doesn't matter, we were drunk!" Stan said, pointing forward and with a hurt, worried and scared look on his face. Terrance looked away as he pointed back, looking very ashamed of himself and whatever actions took place.

"It doesn't matter, we both know the truth!" Terrance accused, thick eyebrows narrowed, but his eyes closed in sadness.

"We-we didn't know what we were doing!" Kyle said, falling to his knees as his brown eyes nearly teared in pain. It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't. Why couldn't people just forget about it.

"Guys!" Annie said loudly as the women returned and filed back into the room. Their attention hailed, Powder dropped a crate full of assorted cell phones of various types. Everyone moved forward and began competing to get their phones out first.

"Nobody has reception yet." Red advised as everyone took their phones and moved, trying to get their phones' reception up. Many held their's up, hoping to find a good signal or at least reception, but Token's mansion wasn't new enough to support wi-fi - for the most part the phones were useless, unable to call for help.

"I got it!" Bebe smiled, "It's not strong but I think if I find a balcony I can get a signal strong enough to call for help." Bebe said, heading for the stairs with a grin. Bebe admired Token's interior design as she climbed up the spiral staircase and was soon out of sight. As the others began pocketing their phones, Bill and Jason returned to the room looking rather gaunt.

"Guys, add another one to the bodycount." Jason said as he, and Bill returned, "Heidi's been shot." he reported dryly. The news soaked in rather quickly, as many looked down, eye contacts broken. Lola had an almost guilty look on her face, and Craig was the main exception, yawning because this information was of little interest to him.

"Fosse, Token, Millie, Nancy, Kenny, Heidi... six dead so far." Rebecca reported autonomously, keeping continous track of each person lost. Kyle held an arm around her, as much for her sake as his own, pretty worried about the sitatuon as it progressed.

"Ken!" Tammy burst into tears yet again at the reminder of her husband's loss. It was impossible for her to imagine life without her husband around, and after it took quite a while to calm her, the girls were disappointed to see her crying her eyes out again, though they could admittedly sympathize with her situation.

Kyle crossed his arms and sighed, stepping forward, "Well guys, we know it can't be Cartman so there's only one chief suspect left..."

xXx

Bebe Amanda Stevens-Donovan was not pleased at all. Despite being on a balcony and close to the mainland as one could get, the signal had not gained any strength. Fuck - there goes their last hope of calling the incompetent authorities. Not like the small South Park Police force could have been of much assistance, she thought bitterly, especially remembering the brightest detective in town had just been taken down by the killer.

Tap, tap, tap...

She spun around to see a figure hidden in the darkness, her mouth widening, "It's you! The villain who's been causing all this! How could you? Who would-"

Bebe let out a loud scream as her blue eyes rolled back into her head, the ability of vision quite suddenly lost. Blood stained the red dress as Bebe fell backward over the railing, a kitchen knife in her back. The corpse soon landed with a soft thud on cool, wet grass, blood stains seeping into the soil as Bebe's blue eyes started into the abyss.

xXx

"Did you hear that?" asked Stan, eyes wide with horror as the group followed him outside. The cadaver wasn't far from the main entrance to the building. As the group surrounded it, Stan sighed and crouched down, putting a finger on her wrist to check her pulse. He gave a silent nod of 'no' as he closed her eyes, leaving the body there peacefully.

"Timmah, livalaw Bebe!" Despite his wife's comforting half-hug, the rock legend still feared for his life. Despite their marital problems, the high stakes had brought Annie and Timmy back together again, for the moment at least.

"...you bastard." Kyle said with sadness as they looked down at Bebe. Kyle had not reciprocated Bebe's romantic interest, but he still considered her a good friend and it was a swift blow to see her like this. Dogpoo rejoined the group, looking in awe at the body.

"No... not Bebe." Wendy fell to her knees as she saw her best friend in a way few would want to see them. She put a hand on Bebe's, earthly eyes wide as she looked down at her friend in horror, "You can't be dead." Stan kept his arm around his wife, only able to imagine the pain she must be feeling at that moment.

"Wow, what a surprise." Craig said blatantly, not really concerned about this breaking news, or others' opinion of him right now. The glares at him were virtually unnoticed. Craig cared about the opinion of a select few people, and none of the people who's opinions he cared for were present.

"Craig, stop being a dick. People are dying and you're gloating about it. Stop, being, a, dick." Wendy challenged with a glare, really sick of Craig's uncaring attitude - as if Craig lived in his own world and everything happening around him was some kind of inconvenience. What a douchebag.

"Yeah, you're bein' real negative." Butters added, pounding his fists together as he too joined in the glaring toward Craig. Craig rolled his eyes and flipped both Butters and Wendy off.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my bad. I didn't realize that by pointing out things had gone wrong for the 200th-something time I was being negative." Craig reported as he crossed his arms. This was getting to be very frustrating - he didn't like constantly having to explain himself.

"Dude, Craig, fuck you." Kyle said, narrowing his eyes with annoyance at Craig's repeatedly rude behavior. Now was far from the best time for him to have another stupid tantrum. Why did he have to be so difficult all the time?

"Poor Bebe, fellers! So this means it has to be him then?" Butters asked again nervously, hoping to change the subject and stop the discussion of Craig. He just wanted this nightmare to be over and he wasn't in the mood to hear his friends whine about Craig.

"Yup." replied Dogpoo, "It's gotta be Clyde... where do you guys think he is?" the homeless man questioned. Many heads were scratched and chins fingered as many thought of what locations in the mansion Clyde could be at.

"How about the kitchen? This is Clyde after all." Craig noted, the spotlight now off him and his problems and on to someone else. Clyde and Craig were good friends, but Craig seemed to have no qualms giving up Craig's location to the others. Craig saw no problem with his sort of betrayal, far more interested in getting back to his beloved Red Racer DVDs.

"The kitchen! Of course!" Powder snapped her fingers. The group flooded back into the mansion, through the main hall and straight for the kitchen. Sure enough, Clyde Donovan had just turned away from the fridge holding a sandwhich, a knife in the sink. Clyde hummed to the tune of some generic '80s rock music as he turned and began to walk, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw everyone around him, eyes wide open.

"...Uh-oh..."

"Your own wife, you sick bastard, your own wife!" Wendy crossed her arms, standing with her husband at the head of the mob. With the same exception of Craig as before, everyone glared with intense hatred towards Clyde.

"W-what? What about Bebe?" Clyde said in disbelief, raising an eyebrow as he put down his plate on the counter and put his hands on hips with concern. Any danger his wife may be in was of greater concern than any difficulties his stomach may experience.

"You killed her! Probably to make sure she didn't call the authorities on your ass!" accused Terrance, pointing his cane forward slightly as his eyes narrowed at Clyde. Lizzy stood next to her husband, arms crossed with anger as well.

"Bebe's d-dead?" Clyde's chestnut brown eyes widened with intense fear, "I-I swear you guys, it wasn't me, I-I-" His eyes looked toward the floor, and quickly began to trickle, and soon Clyde threw his great head back and burst into a mass of wet, salty tears, his eyes closed as he cried loudly, throwing his hands up to them, "Waaaaaaaaaah!"

"Clyde?" Annie asked, raising an eyebrow at this behavior, which seemed rather peculiar and definitely did not match her personal expectations of a serial killer. Then again she hadn't expected a cripple such as Timmy to be such a good singer, but that's an entirely different set of circumstances.

"Everybody's dead, even m-my wife, a-and you guys think I'm a murder-er!" Clyde whined as tears belted from his body. Stan looked to the other men, Kevin and Jimmy launching forward and grabbing on to Clyde's arms. Clyde quickly kicked Kevin off, dashing toward the kitchen, only for Terrance to step forward and trip him. Terrance quickly grabbed on to the leg, Jason coming forward to take the other while Kevin and Jimmy took the arms.

"Now let's get this prick locked up." Kyle said, hands clasped together as he looked skeptically toward the unconcious figure of Clyde Donovan over his friends' shoulders.

xXx

The first thing he was an old half-naked poster of his childhood of a beautiful blonde.

Kenny McCormick, as always, woke up in his old bed, wearing his same old clothes. His blue eyes flung open as he tossed off the old blanket, got up and stretched to make sure everything was still there - just a single scar from attack. He left the bed and pulled down the hood, having become too stuffy as he grew. He entered the living room of the home to see a man and woman sitting on the old, rugged couch, both their eyes looking at him in surprise.

"When did you get here, son?" asked the woman - she had always been a young-looking woman, and in her forties she had aged little - her hair faded slightly and bags developed under her eyes, but for the most part time had been good to her so far. Next to her sat a man in his fifties in an old T-shirt with a mechanic's outfit over it, sleeves rolled up. He wore a 'Sexy Grandpa' cap over filthy, matted, gray-brown hair, his brown eyes looking to his son. He'd grown a full mustache and his beard was beginning to come in as well.

"Hi mom, dad. Can I use the phone?"


	7. Chapter 7

**"And Then There Were Less"**

_by JVM-SP150_

Police surrounded the Black estate on all sides. What was once a small, private property off the coast of California was now part of a major murder investigation. Detective and eye witness Kenny J. McCormick presided over the investigation. Coroners had taken and were examining the corpses already. many eye witnesses were left to pack their things as they prepared to be sent home. It was a grim day for South Park, CO, and therefore the world.

"Detective McCormick." came the voice of a police officer - a youngster with curly red hair and glasses. He had a nasaly voice, "I think I hear a voice from down this hallway." he nodded in the direction.

"Go check it out, Dougie." Kenny said quickly, "I'm busy over here inspecting the crime scene for Miss Stevens." Kenny had resorted to more formal speak as long as he was performing his duty as an office of the law. Dougie nodded and sighed, hearing the voices more and approaching a door and knocking,

"Hello? Is someone in there?" Dougie asked, putting his face close to the door in hopes of hearing a reply. He knew there were a few people still running around the mansion and unaccounted for.

"Gah! Who are you? Is it the killer? Don't hurt me, man! I'm alone! There's no kids in here at all! Just leave me alone! Please! I won't tell anyone you were here! Jesus!" The voice was panicky and scared, and Dougie swore it was familiar.

"No, this is a police officer... the killer is in police custody, it's Clyde Donovan." Dougie explained, speaking a bit loudly so he could hear through the door.

"CLYDE DID IT! AUGH! HOW DID I KNOW THIS ISN'T A TRICK!" came the voice, and Dougie remembered now - it was Tweek, the owner of the coffee shop and that kid who beat him to be the fourth friend of the boys back in the fourth grade.

"Oh right, Tweek... uhhh..." Dougie pulled out a slip of paper and squinted to read off it in the dimmed hallways, remembering Kenny told him it was important to say to Tweek should he come across him, "Hammertime?" He heard a latch, and the door opened.

"Jesus I thought you guys'd never come! Watching kids is way too much pressure, ngh..." Tweek tore bits of blonde hair out, "Ack, here they are..." the kids gathered around his feet in surprise, all looking quite tired. Either they'd just woken up or they had gotten no sleep.

"Awwh, did the adventure end without us?" Jake asked sadly, looking down, wishing he could go on an awesome adventure just like his dad always used to as a kid. But no, Jake had such a boring, normal, average life.

"Are our parents okay?" asked Amanda curiously, walking up next to her good friends Rachel and Alan. Alan looked particularly tired, holding a notebook with a pencil behind his ear. Rachel had a sociology book she'd borrowed from her aunt under her arm.

"Oh, your parent's fine. But your godmother's dead." Dougie reported, Amanda looking a bit hurt. Her little brother Shane walked up and pat her on the back quietly, hoping to comfort his older sister - they did not hate quite the same sibling bond as their father and aunt but it was strong nonetheless. "I also have to inform someone named Patrick his mother is dead."

"M-mom?" Patrick said, eyes wide, before shaking his head, "Uhh... world domination." he mumbled again quickly, hoping to cover up the slight bit of emotion he'd shown for once. Rachel and Jake looked at each other knowingly, as if something had happened only the two siblings were aware of, then shrugged it off.

"All right kids, you and Mr. Tweak follow me, we have to get back out front." Dougie instructed, leading them out of the bedroom.

xXx

Kevin Stoley had his suitcase out on his bed as he went toward the dresser and picked up a Star Wars notebook open to several pages of written paper. He tossed it into the suitcase and went to the bed and began folding clothes, with a heavy look on his face. His wife was in another room talking to her friend when suddenly Kevin heard foosteps. He spun around, "Oh... hey Kyle."

"Hey Kevin. Look, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I know you were really close with the Donovans - didn't you and Bebe work together?" Kyle asked curiously, with symapthy for Kevin - he could only imagine how hard it must be for him. He'd seen Wendy crying her eyes out over Bebe already. He was pretty worried.

"Oh, I'll get past it." Kevin smiled slightly, confident in his abilities to let it slide, but the smile quickly faltered as memories flooded back, "It's just weird to think you can know someone for so long and not know what they're fully capable of..."

"I understand. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." Kyle explained with a smile, hoping to be supportive. He didn't know Kevin super well, he had always been kind of unpopular, but that was no excuse to be a dick, and God knew he probably needed help right now.

"Thanks Kyle, that means a lot. And hey, you know, maybe I could make it in journalism and sell the story. I mean I already have a good rough draft for an article, it's quite a few pages long..." Kevin explained, nodding toward his bag, the notebook still visible. Kyle raised an eyebrow,

"Oh, that's good but... a few pages? When did you work on it?" Kyle asked curiously, taking out the notebook and opening it to take a look at the article, "You knew what was going to happen..." Kyle surmised looking up to see Kevin's arm extended, holding a large pistol pointed directly toward Kyle, "You're the killer!"

"Brilliant deduction. You shouldn't have come to say hi to me, Kyle. You'd have lived longer." Kevin adopted an uncharacteristic sly grin, staring directly at Kyle with confidence and hate-filled eyes. Kyle wasn't sure whether this had been a trap or merely an accident.

"B-but why?" Kyle said in disbelief, knowing he couldn't move. If Kevin had killed close friends in such a short time span, he would have no trouble killing someone he barely knew such as Kyle. He put his arms up as Kevin smirked.

"Why? Oh, that's easy. Token Black had to die. Remeber what my dear wife mentioned before? The bastard was after me. Token's always been popular - he was the cutest kid in class on the uncorrupted list if you remember correctly. And of course, my wife has always been quite the looker with the other boys. Obviously we both know the tales of High School with Lola and Heidi fighting for Token - but the truth is Token didn't care about Lola, and at the time, not Heidi either. Do you know who Token Black really cared about? Of course you don't." Kevin shook his head before adding, "I've given you too much credit, Broflovski."

Kevin continued, "The truth is Token's top girl was Rebecca Tucker. That's why he wanted to split us apart - he'd take her away to one of his mansions, maybe get custody of Alan and blind her with his fucking money. That's all it was ever about. Impressing her... so he planted the first seeds - he offered me a deal covering an exclusive story about a starlet having an affair. I was suspicious of it but I didn't quite expect it to be about Red. I wasn't exactly heartbroken - I knew the truth. Token tried to add mistrust by telling Red I was having an affair. That's when she filed for divorce. You have no idea what kind of stab in the back that was."

Kyle opened his mouth to speak, "I-" he was shut up as Kevin jabbed the gun into Kyle's stomach. Kyle wasn't going anywhere, and he sure wasn't being allowed to speak out of turn. Kevin glared toward Kyle,

"Shut up, I'm not finished talking, Broflovski! I knew Token was after her, he'd always been after her. I still remember so fondly the Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance... he asked her. I was devastated... and of course the asshole made out with your wife anyway... bah. Regardless, after the filing we worked out our differences with some help from Alan. But I couldn't forgive Token. Oh no. That bastard was going to pay for nearly ruining my life, not to mention nearly destroying my life's career. That was... about three years ago, now that I think about it." Kevin smirked.

"H-how?" Kyle stared in disbelief, shocked that shy, quiet Kevin was in fact, a cold-blooded killer. It seemed impossible to believe. He had seen plenty of transformations over the years - Kenny into a superhero, Cartman into the big leagues of assholes. But this one took him most by surprise.

"Three years ago I ran into my old friend Heidi Turner - we experimented in High School... biology class. I promised her I could get her with Token, to teach her the way into her heart - she'd always had a thing for him you know - if she made him drop the story, admit to Red he made it up and to set up this little dinner party. Poor thing she didn't suspect anything. So it went. Every week for years I called her, playing innocent, just helping out an old friend... and I turned her from a heartless bitch into a sweet girl. Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design."

"Oh my God, you... you bastard..." Kyle said, eyes wide as he looked down at the floor. This wasn't happening. Kevin was not the killer. There was no gun to Kyle's stomach. He didn't feel like he was going to vomit his own intestines. It was all some kind of dream. No, not a dream. This was a nightmare. This was the stuff nightmares were made of.

"The original plot was simple: set a timed handgun to kill Token, then drop off the weapon in Clyde's room - Token dies, Clyde gets blamed, end of the story. But then Fosse got in the way. I had to improvise. The blackout was a perfect oppurtunity to take out Token again - but Kenny was a threat - he was asking too many questions, knew just how to find things. When Dogpoo was on the shitter I went to find him - Millie and Nancy ran into me with a knife. It was a shame... but they had to die. I left them to plant the knife in Clyde's room but I realized the fingerprints had to be disposed of - then Kenny caught me talking to Heidi and found out it was me. A real nice, selfless guy - but again, he had to die. I tossed the weapon to Heidi and she ran just as I expected. I ran off with Bill, Jason and Dogpoo and separated myself so I could find her. They found her first but I took care of her before she told them the truth."

"...really!" Kyle turned his head to the side, eyes wide, and still in shock. He narrowed his earthly eyes, glaring viciously at the man before him, a man who now held Kyle's life in his hands, "You're a monster..."

"I'm not done." Kevin sneered with a vicious look, his smirk quickly returning, "Clyde was unaccounted for - all too easy - and I chose to forgo sneakin into his room. When you all got stuck arguing I slipped away and killed Bebe to prevent her from calling help. After that, the puzzle pieces just fell into place..." Kevin said, his voice carrying a sound that mixed pity and an almost inhuman, spine-chilling... pleasure. As if he was enjoying the feeling of power.

"I have to go..." Kyle began but Kevin jabbed the weapon at him again. Kevin refused to let Kyle go anywhere - it was clear Kevin's intention. Kyle felt a lump develop in his throat as the barrel of the weapon was pushed into his stomach - he could feel it up against him. Kyle bit his lip. Kevin smiled deviously,

"Oh, but Kyle, I was enjoying our little chat." Kevin's head turned slightly, "I say we finish it... out back." he explained. There was suddenly a noise as they looked to see the door open, and a wave of relief hit Kyle as his wife intered the room, now in her normal clothing - a low green blouse and tan pants. Unfortunately for him, Kevin was close enough to Kyle's back the gun wasn't visible to Rebecca.

"There you are Kyle!" Rebecca said cautiously, her hands clasped together - though she'd grown out of the habit, when she was truly nervous or a matter of great importance was at hand, she tended to fall back to her childhood self. "I-I have to tell you something..." Kyle turned, his back now to the weapon.

"Oh, hi Rebecca. Me and Kyle were just getting re-acquainted..." Kevin explained with that devious smirk, but his eyes were on Kyle as he held the gun firm to Kyle's back, "We were just going to get some fresh air."

"Yeah Rebecca, everything's fine, absolutely no attempted murder's going on here." Kyle explained nervously, hoping his wife would get the hint. Rebecca was a smart, intelligent girl - surely she could deduce by such an unorthodox sentence structure something bizzare was going on...

"Oh, in that case, I'll make it quick. Kyle..." Nope. Apparently Kyle made such a claim frequently enough Rebecca didn't see it as out-of-the-ordinary. Rebecca bit her lip, "I'm pregnant." she announced quietly. Kyle jumped,

"What!" he said quickly, astonished at this revelation. There had been a lot of twists and turns these past few days but this was the biggest surprise Kyle had to endure. The killer's identity, the gruesome murders? Minor mysteries to this, the pinnacle of his shock.

"Yeah... I've known for a while I just... haven't known how to tell you. I wasn't even going to keep it at first. I didn't used to want kids but... now that I have one I think I do." she smiled, "I know you always wanted kids even though you always said you hated them - I think you'll be great f-father, Kyle." she explained, "I better go finish packing while you two visit."

"No, it's fine, stay here as long as you like!" Kyle said desperately, hoping he could use his wife to keep his brains from being blown out. Rebecca looked away, shrugging, her hands separate - the tension was gone.

"No, I'll go pack. You two boys have fun." Rebecca said. Kyle let out a small moan of regret as she left. Kevin held the weapon tight to Kyle's back as they walked out the room unnoticed, carefully moving past people, Kevin directing him so nobody noticed the weapon - not that many remained inside the mansion. They moved through the entrance hall to a back door. Kevin opened it and walked Kyle outside silently. Behind the mansion was cool grass, the breeze ruffling both men's hair as they stood near a tall cliff. Kyle turned, his brown eyes staring with intense fear into Kevin's abbysmal brown ones.

"How can you fucking live with yourself, Stoley? You've destroyed families and spilled the blood of innocent people. Tell me how you fucking live with yourself!" Kyle asked desperately as Kevin walked him to the end of the cliff, weapon to Kyle's back. Kevin's eyes narrowed, a maniacal laugh escaping, his raven hair swaying in the wind,

"The knowledge my family will be safe from these people is enough. The sweet taste of revenge is just an added flavor." Kevin said, his voice grim, his eyes showing off no pity or remorse for his actions. Kyle turned, the gun against his chest again as he faced him. Kyle hoped the small bit of humanity within Kevin would prevent him from shooting Kyle if he could see his face at least - he'd heard in World War II, the Germans found it more difficult to kill Jewish people if they faced each other.

"You're insane." was all Kyle could muster now, feeling defeated. This was the end for him. His wife would go on without him. His son would grow up with no idea who his father was. With a mother who'd almost certainly be seen as or treated like a whore, eager for his acceptance as she was of all. Just like Cartman. His son might end up just like Cartman. Kyle purged that idea, hoping that was not his last thought.

"Any last words, Broflovski?" Kevin asked, growing impatient, his finger waiting to pull the trigger already. This was becoming a waste of time, but he wished to hear his victim's last words. It was more akin to good manners than any kind of remorse.

"Look Kevin, you can let me go, I promise I won't tell anybody." Kyle bargained, eyes at Kevin with a hope for trust, pity, something in his eyes. But Kevin's eyes were nothing - one could look in and see nothing but darkness and apathy now. Perhaps it was all the murders he had orchestrated - a single crime of passion turned into a string of violence. Perhaps in the end he had lost his humanity. Perhaps it had been lost ages before.

Kevin's eyes narrowed again, his devious smirk widening as he straighted his arm, pistol pointed directly toward Kyle now, "That's right - you won't. Goodbye Kyle."

BANG!

Kyle's eyes closed for a long, long moment, opening them slowly to glimpse his mortal wounds - there were none. No entrance wound or stains. Death had not chosen him. He looked forward and saw Kevin, his eyes wide and glassy. He fell to his knees, the pistol falling from his hand and off into the ocean. He choked up a small amount of blood, his eyes looking up to Kyle as if to ask for help, but then they closed. He tried to grab Kyle's legs, but his grip failed as he slumped forward and fell to his death - it was only then Kyle glimpsed a wound on Kevin's back.

Kyle looked around toward the mansion. Nothing. Not a sign of any life. No open windows. Just nothing. He had no idea the identity of his savior. As the breeze moved over the grass and rustled with the trees, as several long moments passed, Kyle sighed. His savior was not coming forward. "Whoever did that... thank you." Kyle said loudly as he walked back up towards the mansion.

Countless feet above the mansion on the highest roof, past an iron-bar fence sat a large figure, holding a sniper rifle. The rifle shined in the sun as the gunman held on to it, checking the scope. His target was taken caren of. He smirked with triumph. This was his moment.

"If anybody's gonna take that Jew out, it's gonna be me." said Eric Cartman.

xXx

"Hello? Is anyone gonna let us out?" came a feminine voice from deep within the mansion.

"Kevin... crowbar?"

**The End**


End file.
